From books, movies, TV, and the real world, why are we settling?
Let’s set the scene: it’s Valentine’s Day, and you’re being bombarded with pictures of roses and couples on social media. To combat your loneliness, you decide to watch a new romance movie, maybe they will fill the hole in your heart. As you swipe through Netflix though, you keep running into low budget, cliche films made to simply hit quotas. 365 Days, After, Hallmark remakes, the list keeps going on. Maybe you could read a cute book instead? Not likely. Most of the novels coming out these days are filled with basic tropes, weak plots, cheesy cartoon covers, or just straight smut. (I’m talking about you, Colleen Hoover and Ana Huang.)Â
Why has it become so hard to find a good, classic, portrayal of romance in the media nowadays? Where are the Disney fairytales, the colorful early 2000s rom-coms, and To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before style wholesome books? This fall of quality romance media has critically affected the modern person. As a society, we have started to lose the magical feeling of true love, and it’s hurting our relationships.   Â
Movies like 10 Things I Hate About You and The Notebook used to portray how people should put in their best effort for the person they love. But those came out over a decade ago, there’s nothing modern that holds up to that standard. The boys you meet now think that getting flowers is a waste of money, “they’re gonna die anyways.” A modern boy would go into a coma seeing how Noah waited for Allie. Â
Most people don’t realize it, but the things we read and see are just as important as the things we are taught and told. Sure, your mom always told you to hold the door open for ladies, but then boys see how Nate Jacobs from Euphoria treats women. They go from sweet and caring to harsh and avoidant. And I’m not saying it’s just men being affected by the portrayals of romance in media, women are too! Think of the “sprinkle sprinkle” lady on Tiktok: her entire brand is that all men are horrible, but at least you can use them for money. The girls who listen to her and other influencers alike start judging potential partners off of purely materialistic values.
We always hear about our friends going on bad dates, having horrible hookups, or matching with the most insane people on dating sites. But maybe if we made all of those people sit down and watch The Princess Bride or read Pride and Prejudice, they might change.Â
We are all scared and frustrated with the current dating environment, but the media we consume doesn’t have to enforce those feelings. I urge everyone who is struggling with their love lives to take an evening to watch or read a classic, not doomscroll on social media.
And writers, please stop making entire plot lines around smut. Romance is not about the sex or the money you’ll marry into, but the connection, safety, and loyalty between two people. If people begin consuming media with those values, then we might begin seeing better luck on Hinge. Love is not Nate Jacobs, it’s Mr. Darcy.