- Love Bombing
I don’t doubt you are unique, beautiful and amazing. But a partner doesn’t need to be, and shouldn’t be, obsessed with you from the get-go. Words of affirmations and compliments are much different than love bombing, and it’s important to be able to spot the difference. If they keep saying things like “you’re my soulmate,” or say “I love you” before you have built a real connection, it isn’t romantic, it is a red flag.
- Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of mental and emotional manipulation that occurs in relationships. Blatant lying, denying events or conversations and turning arguments back on you is gaslighting. In a relationship, when you bring up a problem, you and your partner should be able to have a mature conversation about the problem and the resolution. If their immediate response is anger or abrupt denial, it is a red flag. Even if they didn’t do what they are being accused of, they should still be willing to have an open conversation about why you are thinking that way. If they are lying, that’s already a red flag, but if they deny that they were lying, then get out. Do not let yourself believe that the issue is automatically your fault just because your partner is guilting you. Take a step back and realize what is actually happening.
- Calling their ex “crazy”
Yes, some exes really are crazy. But constantly bringing up their ex, or constantly talking about how crazy they are is a red flag. In reality, they were probably the reason for the break up. They call their ex crazy because they are not emotionally mature enough to admit that they made mistakes, so they place all the blame on their ex-partner being crazy. They need everyone else to think their ex is crazy, so no one questions them. Because if people really started to dig deeper and ask questions, they might find out the truth about the relationship/breakup.
- Depending completely on you
It’s nice to have someone like you, but when they depend completely on you it’s a sign of codependency. Even though you enjoy spending time with each other, you have to remain your own person. Spending time together is great, but remember to also spend time with yourself and your other loved ones. If your partner is getting angry that you aren’t spending every moment with them, it is problematic.
- Being too jealous
I admit, a little jealousy can boost your ego, but when they are about to throw down with a random guy because he looked in your direction … it’s too much. It can be a sign of aggression, which you should always be weary of. It can also show that they believe you are their possession. If they are acting too overbearing and jealous, it may be time to rethink the relationship.
- Hiding their life from you
If they are subtly, or blatantly, hiding the rest of their life from you, it’s time to question them. When they hide their phone, never tell you their plans or never introduce you to their loved ones, it is usually a sign of something deeper. They may be hiding something in their life, and if they continue to do it even after you discuss it with them, don’t wait around for them to change.
- Hiding you from their life
Are they ashamed of you? Are they talking to other people? If they are refusing to introduce you to their friends/family, or avoiding posting about you on social media, there is probably a reason. They may not want people to know you are together, so they can continue to talk to other people. It’s worth having a conversation about, and again, if they deny it or refuse to answer, leave. You deserve to be shown off.
- Crossing your boundaries
This is one of the worst red flags. If you set strict boundaries and they still cross them, they do not respect you. It is as simple as that. They care more about their own needs than yours. Finding and making boundaries in relationships is important, but if they continue to cross them after they have been made, they do not deserve a second chance. Always set boundaries, and make sure your partner respects you enough to keep them.