Ok, I already know what you’re thinking: “Oh, she’s one of those girls that can’t go two days without a boyfriend.” And just to clear that up – I’m not. I promise.
What I mean by “single” is not having a boyfriend (obviously) or a thing with anyone. I don’t have a crush. My friends aren’t trying to set me up with someone. I’m not even snapchatting anyone. I’m totally and COMPLETELY single.
It seems like I’ve been thinking about finding a boyfriend since elementary school. My first kiss happened in kindergarten. It lasted a millisecond, and then he said, “That was fun. Should we do it again?” I responded, “No, I’m okay,” then simply moved on. Well, I can definitely confirm that a lot’s changed since then. And the need to find a partner has only intensified as I’ve gotten older.
I spent years keeping Snapchat streaks with guys just to make myself feel better about not having a boyfriend. To say the least, it was completely unfulfilling.
But looking back, I can’t believe I cared so much. The stress I put on myself to find a partner only made things worse. I dated boys I shouldn’t have dated just for the sake of dating. I forced connections with guy friends just because I desperately wanted to be in a relationship. And for a while I believed I was doing the right thing. But I kept asking myself, is this love? Is this really all it is?
Two summers ago, I told myself I needed to take a break from boys. But, of course, life never goes according to plan, and I fell in love – not the kind of love where you find yourself taking the Buzzfeed, “Am I in Love?” quizzes (because trust me, I’ve been there). It only lasted a couple of months, but I don’t regret it for a second. Because it was real. It actually meant something. It wasn’t just another boy I was snapchatting.
As heartbroken as I was, I came out of this relationship a different person. My mindset completely shifted. I was no longer concerned about my single status because I was positive that the right boy would walk into my life at the right time. After all, I fell in love right after I told myself I wasn’t going to look anymore.
So, this summer I stopped looking. I prioritized myself. Without the distraction of the blue text bubble popping up on the right-hand corner of my computer screen, I took two summer courses. I started writing for two magazines. And I never felt anxious about being single. Not even once.
I’m not oblivious to the fact that many college women desperately want a boyfriend. In fact, in the middle of writing this story, I heard my roommate complain, “I just wanna get married already.” But I’m also not oblivious to the fact that many college women aren’t in search of a romantic relationship.
More people are okay being single than you might think. Pew Research Center just recently released a study that revealed 50 percent of single people are not interested in a romantic relationship. Who knew??!
I’m done wasting my time feeling anxious about something I can’t control. Now is the time to be selfish. Now is the time to prioritize myself. I’m becoming a better individual, so when the time comes, I’ll be ready to share my life with someone else.
But whoever you are, I can’t wait to meet you. :)