Lost in Dreams

Dream is such a big word. It seems like if you just put the word “dream” in front of any words, they just seem perfect. Dream house, dream guy, dream school, dream job. I am sure we all have imagined ourselves living in our dream houses, whether it's in Paris eating macaroons and drinking wine, or living in a giant mansion house with three dogs. Same with our dream guys, he needs to be caring, funny, with a good personality and someone we can be ourselves with. It’s easier with these topics, but when sometimes ask me what my dream job is, I get really frustrated. People talk about dreaming big and following your dream. So what is my dream? What do I want to do?

As a college student, thinking about your dream can be quite overwhelming. Yeah, I know. It is hard to figure out what you want to do in 20 years. It seems like it’s never going to come. I mean, I don’t even know what to do right now. How am I supposed to know what I want to do in 20 years?

Sometimes, I just stop everything I am doing and think about the reason why I am working so hard. And I start asking myself all these questions that only confuse me more and more. Why do I study so hard? Do I know what I am doing? Am I sure if I want to major in this? What if this is totally not my thing? What if I never get a job? Then I get so worried about the choices I made so far that I can’t focus on anything. The uncertainty makes me nervous.  

Since we were kids, we all have been asked what our dreams are. When I was a kid, my parents would always ask me what my dream is and it would change all the time. It started off as a fashion designer, a cook, a teacher, and so many other things. My parents would tell me that it’s okay if I don’t know what to do yet since I am young. Nowadays, people around me would tell me I should know by now what I want to do. And I start to think about what I am doing with my life, because I am not sure what I want to do yet. There are so many things in life that I want to do and it seems so hard to pick that perfect job or industry I want to work in. I think my dream doesn’t have to be a one thing. It can by anything, really. Anything that I am passionate about.

When I try to think back to high school, my only focus was to get into that dream school with that perfect ACT score. I loved all my AP classes, talking with friends and getting involved in extracurricular activities. But now that I think about it, I wish I would have taken more classes in different areas that I was interested in, such as culinary art or interior design. It would have been easier figuring out what I want to do by taking entry-level classes and see whether I like them or not.  Sometimes I feel like I haven’t had much of an experience to tell what my dream is. Because sometimes, your expectations are different from the reality. You might think business is your thing but after you actually learn the material, it might not be quite the same as what you thought it is. You can experience and learn more through school, clubs and work. And that is what we are supposed to do right now as college students.

So, it is okay. It is okay to not know what you want to do yet. It is normal to not know for sure what your dream is. Because a dream is so much more than just earning lots of money and working in big cities. It’s about what you really want to do.