If you’re like me, then you wait until the last minute to do anything, because as the great Squidward once said, “Why do today what you can put off till tomorrow?” But you begin to question that life motto when you start a nine page research proposal on Wednesday at 3 p.m. when it’s due on Thursday at midnight. Knowing I wouldn’t have time to work on the paper Thursday (Thirsty Thursday, amiright?), I started it on Wednesday! That’s logic, I thought. How long could a nine page proposal I’ve known about all semester really take, anyway? The answer to that question, my dear readers, is 14 hours. Fortunately for all of you, I documented this journey on Snapchat and Twitter.
Only 30 minutes in and I already wanted to die. I was so young and naive then, not knowing the hardships that lied ahead. At this point, I was only mildly stressed because of the tediousness of the task I had set forth to do. I was joking more than anything and had no idea I was going to be awake for another 14 hours, and I genuinely believed it wouldn’t take that long to do. Little did I know…
Five hours in and this paper had turned me into the stressed out monster you see above. I was still only at the very beginning of the paper at this time — section 2a, to be exact — and would be for another 5 hours. I had no idea it would take this long do and at this point I knew that my future was looking grim. I began to get super stressed out and everyone around me could tell.
Eight hours in and I was in the mood to blame my teacher for my problems and not the fact that I waited until the day before to start it. It’s his fault for assigning this dumb assignment, right? In reality, thinking of ways to murder my teacher was just me procrastinating more. (As if my hour and a half dinner break wasn’t procrastinating enough.)
Eleven hours in and I had moved on from thinking of ways to kill my teacher and began thinking of ways to get out of doing the assignment. I don’t know about you, but I think that’s an amazing idea.
Fourteen hours in and I had finally finished my paper! I was so excited, the pride of a job while done flowing through my veins (also a lot of caffiene). That is, until I went to open my door and realized that even though they saw my keys sitting on the counter, my roommates locked the door. I was so tired and couldn’t believe this was how my terrible paper-writing journey was to end. Little known fact about me: I hold the Ellsworth Hall lockout record.
I finally got back in my room and was done with everything. I think I managed to kill my soul in this process. Time to wallow in self-pity.
I was so tired I couldn’t even make it to my bed. Don’t worry, I did eventually, but only after sleeping on the floor for an hour.
HEED MY WARNING! DON’T PUT OFF PAPERS UNTIL LAST MINUTE! YOU DON’T WANT TO BECOME THIS!