Comparison kills.
Girl on girl hate unfortunately encompasses this very idea, in that girls have to be in constant (?) competition with one another.
This means pitting girls against one another from a young age to strive to be the “prettiest” or the “nicest” (as if there isn’t more to her AND as if there can only be one “winner”??).
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All of this leads young women to believe the massive MISCONCEPTION that claims that there is only enough room for ONE of them to be happy, deserving of love, celebrated, and successful!!
This could not be FURTHER from the truth, as one woman’s beauty is not the absence of your own.
Both women in the public eye and women going in their everyday lives are torn apart in the media, their workplace, etc. to compete with, hate on, and “win” over their fellow women.
No matter what position she is in, no woman is immune to society’s attempts to persuade her there is only room for one woman on top.
However, what benefits would we reap from practicing habits of girl on girl hate?
Hmm, let me think..
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Mmhmm let me look for where girl on girl hate would be a good idea?
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Oh that’s right. Absolutely nowhere.
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(Oopsy, silly me teehee.)
Instead, to counteract, resist, grow, and empower one another, the most badass thing we can do as women is counter these falsehoods by practicing love, inclusion, and support for one another in our daily lives, as a celebration of our capability, femininity, & working together to earn what we deserve!!
This is how to support “like a girl”.
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(I just took a DNA test, turns out- the Lizzo song I linked is 100% perfect for this article’s energy, def channeling it hehe.)
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Step 1: Girl Love
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→ One of my favorite YouTubers @adelainemorin (check out her main channel here and her vlog channel, my personal fav, here!), inspires me in her initiative of female empowerment branded as “girls SUPPORTING girls”.
She advocates for making women supporting the success of other women, not only a priority but genuine, loving, and intentional.
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(Check out @shopadelainemorin, and her adorable line of hoodies, mini-backpacks, seasonal stationery & goodies, etc. through adelainemorin.com, a portion of each sale goes directly towards a girl’s non-profit organization! Support your girls & look real cute & comfy while doing it!!)
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(Psst…. speaking of @adelainemorin, check out of my fav videos of hers entitled “12 TIPS TO BE A BADASS! Confidence & Self-Love”, they are some of my favorite self love tips. Very motivating, insightful, & helpful!)
→ That being said, genuinely wishing the best for your fellow women, and supporting them in their success may not come easily, and if that’s the case, it is important you look inward, as this is a direct reflection of yourself and more often than not, your own self-doubts and insecurities. Which is okay!! We all have insecurities, and that is (let me say it again) okay!
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However, accepting & understanding said insecurities, what they mean & where they come from, is much easier said than done!
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Step 2: Comparison (it kills), Acknowledge, Learn, Support, & Grow!
→ I personally get into the habit of comparing myself to others (and it’s totally natural, it happens sometimes) & that is okay! However, what isn’t okay is tearing others down because of it.
Girl on girl hate is typically rooted not within conflict or an intentional desire to be mean (though this does not justify or excuse tearing women apart, at all!).
However, accepting these feelings and looking inward within oneself, and making an effort to learn the root of your own insecurities, acknowledging them, and working through them will initiate the greatest self-growth.
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How you treat others is a reflection of yourself because once you have love & support for yourself, you can give love & support to the women in your life!!
→ This step is essential because the fact is that you can’t give what you don’t have.
Despite this, nothing will entirely eliminate insecure moments.
Bad days are inevitable, but bad days and icky feeling moods do not make you an icky or bad person.
→ Basically, make it an effort to understand that tearing one another apart comes from a place of insecurity!
Look within yourself to heal, so you can love on yourself and radiate that positive, embracing, and attractive energy to your fellow women!! (Because we all deserve it.)
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Step 3: No Shame, All Empower
→ What empowers a woman is self-defined, and because of that, what empowers one woman may not empower another. There is no right or wrong way to express and empower oneself.
A major KEY to girls supporting girls is girls NOT shaming other girls.
Thus, when it comes to dismissing girl on girl hate, that also means dismissing shaming one another!!
Some women are empowered and feel confident in their modesty (maybe even in their hijab/headscarf & all!! Yes CUTIE) & other women are feeling themselves in short shorts, skirts, and tiny crop tops (maybe even strapless, or tube, yeah get it, girl, I ALSO SEE U.) And ALL of this is worth CELEBRATING.
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→ Support what makes your fellow women feel confident, empowered, and happy. Even if it isn’t what you would do or wear! The best part is there is no right or wrong way to go about this.
You do you for YOU & omgosh I’ll be so excited to support your endeavors!!
Because a win for one woman, is a win for all women.
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Step 4: Success? Don’t Stress (plenty of room ;) )
→ Finally, when it comes to supporting your fellow women, we support their successes too.
(As Ariana says in “Successful”, “It feels so good to be so young and have this fun and be successful, (I’m so successful), & girl YOU TOO are so young & beautiful & so successful.”)
Omgoodness, it’s almost like there’s room for all of us to thrive & be successful?? Omgosh wait, if we work hard, support one another, & be our badass selves, we can!!
This may seem like a duh, but it’s tempting to get discouraged when we see one woman succeed, when we are still striving and working towards accomplishing our bigger goals.
→ It all goes back to the fact that comparison kills, and you can’t compare one woman’s chapter 20 to your chapter 1. It may look easy online, but I guarantee you every successful woman worked her ass off to get there, but those long days and late nights typically don’t make the feed.
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→ Remember it is easy to convince yourself otherwise, however, trust me when I say one woman’s success does not take away from your own!!
Girls supporting girls entails uplifting your fellow women positively, celebrating their success and in doing so, understanding and accepting the fact that one woman’s success does not make you any less successful, nor does it make you a failure.
Repeat that to yourself, pretty please!!
So celebrate yourself and the girl bosses in your life! Every tiny victory is well deserved, earned, and appreciated, especially when you send a little extra love their way. :,)
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Girl on girl hate? Goodbye.
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So, let’s review.
The only woman you should be in competition with?
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YOU!
→ Make an effort to grow, flourish, and thrive because in doing so, you inspire the badass women around you as well. So, go grow, girl. We are rooting for you. ;)
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Last, but certainly not least, if you made it to the end of this, thank you for supporting me. :,)
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