Director Lulu Wang tells the story of a Chinese-American woman named Billi who goes home to visit her family. She learns that her grandma, Nai Nai, has been diagnosed with cancer, but in Chinese culture, family members usually keep things like this secret to themselves. Billie grapples with trying to act happy while also grieving her grandma. The Farewell is based on Wang’s real-life family; all of the characters are based on real-life people.
For example, the film takes place in Changchun, China, and the scene where the family is at the cemetery is at Wang’s grandpa’s cemetery. The cultural dynamics of the film revolve around Billi’s family and their decision to keep their grandma Nai Nai’s cancer diagnosis a secret from her. This idea comes from a long family tradition in Chinese culture, having this be the main event in the story and the reason this plot shows that the roots of Chinese culture are still active in China today. The Wang family makes this decision because they think that by telling Nai Nai she has cancer, the stress will kill her faster. By keeping it a secret, they want Nai Nai to live her last days with joy instead of the fear of dying.
The doctors even withhold the news from Nai Nai as well; this would be considered unethical in the U.S., demonstrating a difference between Eastern and Western culture, which connects to Billi’s struggle to find her identity within her family and social life.
Typically, American culture prioritizes honesty and individualism, which directly clashes with her Chinese side of the family choosing to put the family first by telling a lie. Billi’s parents get upset when she suggests telling Nai Nai the truth, in the belief that keeping the secret relates to the cultural philosophy that if someone in the family is struggling, the entire family is struggling. Confucius, a Chinese philosopher, in 400 BCE, had the idea that family is a primary institution, and any decisions have to be made by the entire family rather than an individual. While this is different from Western practices, the medical culture in China believes that distress causes an individual to die quickly because of fear.
Wang has spoken about how growing up in the U.S. affected her way of going about creating this film. In China, withholding this truth is an act of love, while in the U.S., it would not be considered in most cases. When Billi’s mom says, “It’s not the cancer that kills, it’s the fear”, the tone is set immediately for the film.
Wang describes Billi as a “fish out of water who doesn’t see things the same way her family does.” Because she was raised in America, she has an individualistic mindset and values personal freedom, while her Chinese-born family doesn’t; they see the family as a unit that makes decisions. This makes it difficult for Billi to accept the family’s lying to Nai Nai.
While overall, this 2019 film was nominated for and won many awards, most of the awards were won for Awkafina’s acting, including a Golden Globe. The Farewell grossed 23.1 million dollars at the box office. As Wang’s sophomore project, many people found the film relatable, which may be why it became so popular.