You’ve had this vision in your head for months now: There you are, in college, doing the college thing. Mom and Dad can’t touch your new found independence, you’re studying all of the interesting things, and you have so many cool friends that understand who you are and share the exact same passions as you—you’re going to be best friends for life!
Right? Practically every adult has told you the same tell-all story: “oh I barely speak to anyone from high school, I met all of my best friends in college!”
Then suddenly it’s the first weekend after move in day, classes have started and you find yourself thinking What the hell am I doing Saturday night? Who am I hanging out with? This moment happens and then you laugh because you feel as though you’re a kid on the playground in elementary school again, walking up to strangers with your heart pounding in your chest as you attempt to introduce yourself or even utter a blatant hello. You are back to the childhood thought of I just want everyone to like me.
Then ultimate question stands: How do I make new friends? Here are a few tips and pieces of advice to guide you through:
1. Not everyone that you meet right away is going to be your “bestie.”
Every once in a while people get a good luck of the draw on roommates, or floor mates but don’t expect everyone to be your friend just because they live across the hall or sit next to you in a class.
2. We are all in the same position.
Every freshman is in the same place as you—even sophomores or upperclassmen are meeting new people all the time. Just know that you aren’t the only one looking for a friendly face.
3. Step outside of your comfort zone!
It’s always easier said than done, but the moment we put ourselves into positions that aren’t familiar, more often than not, you’ll think: “why didn’t I do that a long time ago?”
4. If you can’t FIND a friend, BE a friend.
It’s almost as simple as holding a door open or helping someone pick up their dropped belongs or even lending a pen. You never know what might spark a conversation. Being kind isn’t too hard and being the person that takes one step further proves you have made an effort to reach out!
5. Lastly, give it TIME.
It’s difficult, we all know it. In any situation being patient is hard, sometimes it seems to be impossible. Of course it’s easy to show up and hope for the best but not every person that you meet is going to click. Any lasting friendship takes time to grow. So even though it seems like a lot of people have it figured out and you are the only one who feels as though you don’t have a shoulder to lean on, know that what’s meant to be will last. Time will bring everything together as you soon figure out what you want to get involved in and where you fit. Most importantly, there are always people who want to help you as well! Whether it’s an upperclassmen, a club leader, an advisor, or even a stranger, if you make an effort and be patient, you’ll find a way!
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