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How to Deal with a Breakup: KU Addition

Some women sit on the couch and eat a pint of ice cream while dabbing their eyes with tissue as they watch
Lifetime movies. Others go out to the bars or other social settings with their friends and find the next available guy.

Those are typical scenarios for coping with breakups, but these stereotypes don’t apply to all women. Not every woman handles the demise of a relationship the same, but for those who are having a rough time managing, I have some suggestions on how to cope with a breakup.

  • Separate yourself from your ex

Put some space between you and your ex. Don’t interact with him. You can’t move on if you’re constantly seeing him or talking to him. Even if you decide you two want to be just friends, take a break from hanging out and talking for a while so you can move on.

My tip: If you need some kind of closure then get it over with but don’t text or call him after that. If he talks to you first then ignore him. If you have to, delete him from your phone, Facebook, email, etc.

  • Occupy your mind

Don’t sit around and think about him. Don’t think about how he was or things he said or did to you. Don’t replay memories in your mind. Also, don’t think about what went wrong or analyze every word that was said. I know it’s hard not to ask yourself the “what ifs”, but it really doesn’t do any good and you’ll probably end up with more questions than answers by trying to figure out what you could have done better. If you think you made any mistakes then learn from them, but don’t become the focal point of your thoughts.

On the other hand, sometimes a song playing on the radio, the smell of a certain food, the mention of his name and other random occurrences will remind you of your ex. Unfortunately, those moments are uncontrollable, but don’t wallow in them. Before you know it, you won’t even remember those silly little things.

My tip: Keep busy to prevent your mind from wandering back to those memories. Pick up a hobby, go out with friends, read a book, work more hours at your job. You can find plenty of distractions until your emotions and heartache ease.

  • Vent

Find someone to talk to and just let it all out. Get everything off your chest. Talk to more than one person about your ex if you have to. Talking about what you’re going through will help prevent you from sulking and bottling everything up.

On that note, don’t constantly talk about your ex because that can easily turn into an obession. Obsessing is taking two steps back from moving on and it will end up annoying your friends. Everyone understands a breakup is rough, but if his name is always coming out of your mouth then they won’t want to be around you as much.

My tip: Confide in someone close to you who’ll actually listen and support you. Usually it’s the first few days that are the hardest, so talk about it and let people help you. If you’re having trouble relying on someone to talk to, then consider talking to a counselor. KU provides counseling and psychological services, including group therapy.

  • Have a positive mentality

It sounds cheesy, but believing that everything happens for a reason or that life is just a bunch of learning experiences, will help. Think of the breakup as a means for self-growth. Don’t blame yourself but as mentioned earlier, learn from any mistakes you may have made. Also, don’t pity yourself or feel like you’re alone. You’re not the only person who has gone through a breakup and you won’t be the last. And you’ll more than likely experience more breakups because more guys will come along, even though it may not feel like it, they will.

My tip: Don’t think it’s the end of the world and don’t try so hard to make the next relationship happen. Learn to accept and love life, for the good and the bad. And remember, usually the best things happen when we least expect them.

  • Be patient

Realize it takes time to stop feeling hurt and to heal. And don’t think you have to deal with a breakup in a certain way or in a certain amount of time. Like I said, every women deals with a breakup differently and some move on faster than others. Don’t sit around and wait for your ex to come crawling back to you. Don’t forget that you broke up for a reason.

My tip: Don’t compare your breakup to others or feel pressured that you have to jump into bed with the next guy you meet because another woman handled her breakup that way. Do what you feel is right because it’s your life and only you have to live it. 

How do you deal with breakups? Tell Her Campus Kansas by leaving a comment below!

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