Close your eyes and transport yourself to this situation: You’re at a family function, surrounded by 50-somethings, catching up your distant family on your college endeavors. Your favorite cousin isn’t there, so you’re just left to listen to the semi-problematic, microaggressive discourse of your adult relatives until your mom lets you go home.
Does it sound familiar? Like, when someone of an older generation, say, a Boomer or Gen X, says something problematic, and you just have to sit there and cringe because you feel like it’s not your place to correct them? I started thinking about this after Easter last weekend when I found myself biting my tongue at the occasional microaggressive language from the adults in attendance.
Newsflash: just because someone is older than you does not mean you can’t hold them accountable when they say something f*cked up.
Fast forward to yesterday. A good friend of mine FaceTimed me to tell me about an argument she had with her roommate regarding white privilege. My friend is liberal and her roommate is conservative. You can guess who thought what.
It all sparked from a conversation about a paper my friend is writing for her Spanish class. The roommate said something problematic, my friend fired back – ergo a political debacle which encompassed topics from healthcare to police brutality. In fact, conversations like this aren’t that uncommon on a college campus. It’s in these moments that microaggressive language or behavior begins to exhibit itself, perhaps from a person you wouldn’t expect.
Another newsflash: just because someone is your friend does not mean you can’t hold them accountable when they say something f*cked up.
Let’s cut to the chase – we need to speak up when our friends, family, colleagues, whoever, say something offensive or use offensive language in regard to another person’s identity. Don’t be afraid to hold someone accountable. Be the voice for the person who’s not in the room. Remember, silence helps the side of the oppressor.
Think about it this way: Do you want your friend to be on the wrong side of history? Don’t let your friend grow up to be the racist uncle. I can assure you that you won’t look back in 30 years and regret calling out blatant ignorance.
People can change and ignorance can be unlearned. Do it while your friend’s brain is still impressionable – not when she’s 45 and still using the R-word.