This article discusses something not often addressed, but also, it’s something that is semi personal to me that I don’t really share. So, let’s talk stereotypes!
In a way, I think stereotypes can rob people of different experiences and opportunities. I’m guilty of it and so are you. I can 100% tell you I have made a judgment about a person because of something I ‘heard’ about someone or based on preconceived thoughts about them.
It makes me sad to think this happens. It’s all fine and good to “take someone’s word” for something but what if they’re wrong? Imagine the opportunities missed if you decided to skip out on something that is actually good for you just based on preconceived or ill-informed opinions.
But that’s not really the point of this, and I don’t want to lecture anyone.
That’s just what I think of stereotypes as a whole and thought that should be explained before I dive into a specific example close to me: money. Nowadays, I think money is even more of a sensitive topic than it used to be with all the luxuries and ‘extras’ out there, along with how expensive things are now. It can be easy to envy someone because of the tangible things they have. It seems like we all strive to be better, have the best, and stay ahead of everyone when it comes to those things.
I grew up on my family’s farm where I learned through my dad’s hard work ethic that things do not come free. He farmed and my mom worked a well-paying job as vice president of communications for an international company. Both grew up in low-middle class families. My dad taught me how to take care of myself and the things I own and will own eventually. He knew that nothing was free and rarely accepted gifts like that. (Maybe this is where my trust issues come from??) I remember him waking up at 2 AM to check on the cows that were expecting baby calves soon, and then again at 5AM before chores at 8, all during the winter season. He ran this farm and for the most part, was in charge of his income, so why would he slack when time didn’t allow it? My dad is literally always doing something; he can’t sit still, I swear. Because he was such a hard worker, my dad was able to build my family’s home on our own land and work with my mom to provide a childhood for my brother and me where we never had to worry about wearing the same clothes twice in the same week, let alone about not having a meal on the table.
I won’t lie about the way I grew up; I was and still am super lucky to have the life I do. What my dad stressed to me was how easy it is to lose sight of the things you are given and start focusing on how to keep getting them, rather than earning them and actually working for them. I learned all this at a young age, so I honestly don’t recall ever thinking I was entitled to anything even though both of my parents made sufficient incomes. I was spoiled as a kid; I had brands of clothing many kids didn’t, a super cool DS, and way too many American Girl dolls, but I appreciated it. I really did.
So that’s why when I got to grade school and was faced with social class stereotypes, I was really shook when people viewed me differently because they knew I came from a family that had money. The thing that reallyyy makes me the most irritated was that people think I would never have to work for anything because I could use “daddy’s money” for whatever I wanted.
Not to be this b*tch but honestly, I’m one of the hardest working people I know. And just because my family had worked hard at jobs that paid well, doesn’t mean I didn’t have to work hard for my grades, my achievements in sports/extracurriculars, and other goals.
My first year of college was a MESS. I went through things that still break my heart, and no, it’s not just like I went through a breakup that had me sad for a few weeks (that was sad tho). It was legitimate stuff that made me really h*cking strong, and you know what, I’m glad I had to get through it all because I’m at my happiest state of life right now (honestly a little skeptical about it, kinda like life isn’t supposed to be this good for me). Through all the mess, though, I never stopped waking up everyday, showing up to class, showing up for myself because that’s what I was taught. That’s why it’s so hard to hear that stuff for me.
At the same time, I don’t even feel like I’m allowed to have those kind of emotions or feelings because of the fact I was fortunate. I constantly feel like I have to watch what I say because there’s a fine line between actual problems for me and being a brat. I think of a time in high school when I won a TV at my post prom, and my classmates were actually mad at me for winning this raffle and telling me my “mom could have just bought me one.” A comment like that, whether it was intentional or not, labeled me as the girl who would never feel the same feelings as the commenter because she had money. I wasn’t allowed to be excited about winning a raffle because my “mom could have just bought me one,” and it’s never the best feeling to feel like an outcast. And I’m not saying I wish I would’ve grown up any other way, but I am saying in general, stereotypes are really good at putting unnecessary competition between people.
Stereotypes don’t just affect those thrown into the category, but also the ones who aren’t. In a case study regarding social-class stereotypes, it was recorded that the claim of lower-income students having low achievement levels because they come from low-income families was found incorrect. Generally, the problems and disadvantages of lower income individuals don’t come from the way these students grew up but stem from stereotypical knowledge that higher income students have above average achievement levels. The pressure of this stereotype was the cause of the low performance in those students. So, how are these preconceived thoughts really benefiting anyone?
I type all this and I still feel like no one will take me seriously about it, but I really do understand the flip side of things, and I know there are people who would do anything to have my so-called problems. As a nation, we all could be a little more grateful. Additionally, the purpose of this is not to say “stop being so mean to me because I grew up fortunate;” that is most definitely not it. I just want stereotypes of all kinds to be broken because no matter which one you get thrown in (or don’t), you’re forced to meet the model and live up to all it entails. Without the pressure, we all could be a little happier and helpful to one another, and we all can agree on the necessity of that.