Nawjwa Zebian’s “Sparks of Phoenix” is a book of poems that shares what it feels like to fall in love, get your heart broken, and learn to start all over again.
When my heart was broken, I turned to reading. I believed it helped me heal in ways nothing else could. I encourage everyone to read this book, but for the time being, I’ll just share some of my favorites.
—
I saw you,
and you looked like the weight
of the world was on your shoulders.
I felt guilty and
wanted to ask you
how you were doing.
But my heart reminded me: You’re the one who chose to leave.
You’re the one who chose to hurt me.
You’re the one who chose the end.
So I will let you deal with this pain
on your own.
If you deserved my care,
you would have loved me
when you had the chance.
So I put my heart together and
I walked again,
not because I didn’t care
but because the heart that you broke
couldn’t handle being broken again.
(31)
Perhaps the you who I loved
can tell the you who left
to come back home.
(55)
The one who broke you
cannot heal you.
(86)
Your heart broke in pieces.
It will heal in pieces too.
(88)
The pages are too full
and the lines have
no more room
for the same old story.
(121)
Even though your words
turned out to be
just words,
I thank you
for allowing me to feel
how much love my heart could give.
I thank you
for showing me
that my heart could survive
one more break.
Thank you.
(153)
I have been soaring
for awhile now,
and I am afraid
of burning again.
(212)
I’m afraid to allow love in
again
because I don’t know
what love is anymore.
For a while now,
love has been pain.
I want to shield myself from pain
again,
so I tell you
that I don’t want you to love me
because
you feel bad for me.
(215).
—
It’s so easy to lose ourselves in love – whether you’re in it or trying to get over it. Nawjwa Zebian is a brilliant author and storyteller. She says all the things you’re thinking but can’t put in words. I hope you’ll read her book and love it as much as I do. Read it for yourself. Know that you are enough (and boys are dumb).