I, like most people these days, find The Oscars to be an over-bloated, self-congratulating snooze-fest whose four-hour runtime is draining for even the biggest film enthusiast. Being a sucker for pop culture, however, I sit and roll my eyes at it every year, secretly loving it. This year’s show was pleasantly more tolerable than most in recent memory, and while the show itself ran fairly gracefully, it was in the little moments that some of the most interesting things happened, which I will now break down for you so you don’t have to spend all day on Buzzfeed (like I did).
Pre-Show:
Jacob Tremblay’s parents are hot
Like, super hot.
Jacob Tremblay gave one of the best young performances of the last few decades and was also personally my favorite part of the entire night. Who knew that, along with all that talent and cuteness, he would bring his two incredibly attractive parents to the show?
They kept bringing up the big, racist elephant in the room
It seemed that every other person they interviewed had to be questioned about the lack of diversity at the Oscars. Obviously, said lack of diversity is a huge problem, but it is also one that was better-handled during the actual show. The pre-show correspondents are painfully not used to talking to celebrities about this heavy of material, and I’m also going to take a guess and say that these actors do not appreciate being put on the spot to represent their entire race, as if their presence alone excuses the Academy’s behavior.Diversity in the audience ≠ equality.
A costume designer was mistaken for Tilda Swinton
Her David Bowie tribute got eclipsed by E!’s mistake.
Whoopi Goldberg was mistaken for Oprah
Come on, people.
Both Brie Larson and Jacob Tremblay were crazy excited for Star Wars
Larson reportedly burst into tears at the sight of the robots backstage and Tremblay wore special Darth Vader socks/Millennium Falcon cufflinks.
He also jumped out of his seat when the Star Wars gang of robots came onstage.
I think it’s safe to say the set of Room was just Star Wars, all day every day.
Oscars audience was told that the 45-second speech limit was long enough to “eat an apple, yodel, or whip/nae nae”
Way to stay hip, guys.
During the show:
Reporters inside the auditorium tweeted about how tense the mostly-white audience was during Chris Rock’s monologue
The carefully-timed reaction shots may have said otherwise, but Rock’s (mostly spot-on) words made quite a few members of the Academy visibly uncomfortable. GOOD.
Stacy Dash also made everyone uncomfortable
We all know you’re super weird and racist, Stacey. The joke’s still on you.
Sam Smith accidentally claimed to be the first gay man to win an Oscar
While Elton John would disagree, it was Dustin Lance Black, a previous Oscar winner who also happens to be gay, that called him out on it, tweeting: “Hey @SamSmithWorld, if you have no idea who I am, it may be time to stop texting my fiance.”
Ouch.
A lot of people didn’t clap for costume designer Jenny Beavan
Maybe they didn’t like her awesome Mad Max jacket, but they can hate all they want, she’s an Oscar winner now.
Mad Max just kicked a** in general.
I may be biased since it is my favorite movie of the year, but Mad Max deserved all the awards, not just technical ones. That being said, it more than deserved the ones it did win, and I’m glad it got recognized.
Jared Leto talked about merkins
Like he said, if you don’t know what it is, look it up.
Someone finally acknowledged how dumb it is that Michael B. Jordan wasn’t nominated
How do we live in a world where he’s not nominated but Sylvester Stallone still is?
Lady Gaga should be halfway to an EGOT right now
Her message for the night was deeply moving, her outfit was beautiful and she proved yet again how musically talented she is behind all the meat and bubble suits. Not to mention THE VICE FREAKING PRESIDENT introduced her. Where’s her Oscar?
Speaking of her message…
Brie Larson hugged each and every sexual assault survivor that stood onstage with Gaga
Jacob Tremblay made an adorable Madagascar joke that almost no one heard
When presenting his award, Chris Rock brought out a step-stool so he could reach the mic, to which Jacob said “Thanks, I love you in Madagascar! He’s the zebra!” Stooooooop being so adorable.
Alejandro G. Inarritu has now made history
Not only is he the first director in 66 years to win best director consecutively, he is the first Mexican-American to do so. He also pointed out the fact that, while the Oscars are actively not nominating black people, they are also nominating any people of color, including people who are Hispanic, Asian or any race/nationality other than white.
Leonardo DiCaprio made this face about Girl Scout cookies
Morgan Freeman ate someone else’s Girl Scout cookies
He has earned them.
Post-Show:
Leonardo DiCaprio watched his Oscar get engraved like a helicopter parent
Watch this if you want to watch a grown man pretend to read a pamphlet
He tried to play it cool, but the nervous looks he keeps giving the engraver say otherwise.
And that’s it! That was The Oscars! It only took five hours, four glasses of wine and a healthy amount of my own Girl Scout cookies to get through it.