Do you happen to have a caffeine addiction that solely derives from bean juice? Do you pronounce the word “espresso” as “expresso”? Or do you pay seven U.S. dollars at least once a day to a corporate chain masked by a siren? If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, please take part in the intervention you’re about to receive. Yes, I set this up for you!
Before you go questioning my knowledge about *almost* all things coffee, let me give you a condensed resumé. At the ripe old age of 17 I sold my soul to Starbucks. Look, I’m not trying to slander a tycoon of the corporate coffee shop industry, I’ll just tell you how it was.
The job honestly wasn’t that hard, it was just stressful. The most stressful part of any customer service job is always the customers. We had regulars at our store that I absolutely adored, but when it came to random people that were traveling through, that’s where all hell would break loose. Now I work at a local coffee shop here in Lawrence, and some of these incidents still occur.
Honestly, as a customer at many different stores, whether it be the food industry or not, I don’t think I’ve ever just been blatantly rude to someone. I mean, what is the point of being mean to a person simply handing you a drink? Beats me. When I tell you the audacity some people have to treat baristas the way they do is insane, it’s psychotic honestly. My most recent/favorite horror story with a customer was when I had an older gentleman tell me he didn’t understand how I got a serving job anyway because I had a very “unkind face.” I wanted to tell him that I only had an “unkind” face because he ordered three of my least favorite drinks to make, all with a different kind of non-dairy milk. However, I let it be, since I’m too pretty to go to jail for aggravated assault.
So, now less about actual work interactions, let’s get to the root of all barista problems: the coffee itself. Remember guys, I have two and a half years combined barista experience, I know my stuff. First, let’s address the God of all Starbucks espresso drinks, the caramel macchiato. Did you hear the heavens open up and the angels playing their harps when you read that sentence? No?
Precisely, you actually just heard the wandering, screaming souls of baristas that have been lost to this sugary and overpriced nightmare. Listen to me and listen to me well, a caramel macchiato is a vanilla latte with the shots on top. Now read it again, capeesh?
Let us move on to my next drink on the menu, I mean agenda. The next most popular drink (category) and another fan favorite from Starbies are the Frappuccinos. Let me paint you a picture: it’s a painfully hot August day, I go to work and get stuck standing at the Frappuccino station for three and a half hours straight. During that time I did not take more than five minutes without making one of these godawful creations. I’ve never considered actually throwing a drink at a customer but in that moment it could’ve happened accidentally if one more person had told me I forgot their whipped cream when they specifically told me no whipped cream.
Now that I’ve hit my biggest points, let me reassure you that I love my job, I really do. Being a Starbucks barista is a thing of the past for me, and my new barista job is amazing. I know I really only talked about the negatives, but I’m going to include some of the positives as well. I love my coworkers, adore them actually, they are the sweetest and most genuinely kind people I’ve ever met. I get free coffee while I’m working, which does a number on my caffeine tolerance but coffee is yummy so it doesn’t matter. The job is actually a lot of fun, you get to hangout with coworkers who can turn into really good friends during shifts, play your own music, get to know members of the community, etc. However, the best part of all is the dogs that come through the drive-thru! I refuse to let one sweet pup come through while riding shotgun and not get a treat. They actually make my day and they’re the cutest.
So yes, there are pros and cons to being a barista but I wouldn’t trade my job for any other at the moment. You get to meet so many new and interesting people and work on personal skills like time management and multitasking at the same time. There are bad days, and of course there are good days just like any other job. We always try our best to start a customer’s day out right, or continue it with a well-deserved coffee break. So the next time you go into your favorite coffee joint, be kind to your baristas because we’re people too. Oh, and also we’ll never say no to a tip!