Parties, sororities, clubs, best friends for life, internships, study abroad, newfound freedoms, and most notably: THE BEST TIME OF YOUR LIFE. When hearing all of these expectations before and while entering college there are certain assumptions in place for the typical college girl, even if not all of them seem particularly desirable. And when these interactions don’t fall into place immediately, the floodgate of doubts instantaneously breaks open. What am I doing wrong? Am I really unsociable? Why aren’t people asking me to hang out with them? And most importantly, was it a good idea to go to college at all?
First of all, to all you shy, insecure, and especially introvert personality type ladies out there: DO NOT PANIC. It is perfectly normal to experience these doubts and fears and to feel lonely more often than not while attending college. And believe it or not, there are plenty of social and “preppy” girls out there who feel the same way too at one point or another. You are not alone in your lonely weekends and things will look up.
As an introvert and relatively self-sufficient individual myself, I understand these emotions fairly well. When deciding to attend school out-of-state I was exuberant at the possibilities of starting new and seeing different faces, rather than the majority of my class that pretty much only attending the two major universities of Colorado. Then on move in day the reality hit: all the girls seemed to already know each other and I had no idea of how to insert myself into a group. I couldn’t tell if girls knew each other from high school (as many do) or if they just met and hit it off, but I was petrified.
After being displaced from that floor into a temporary room then moved into a permanent room on another floor within the first month of school I was completely lost. Most people meet their “forever friends” within their dorm and I knew no one. And especially with no social media to meet other people from KU, it was rough. The rest of the first semester consisted of me staying in my room the majority of the time and not even considering looking into clubs. And over Winter Break I seriously considered transferring back to a Colorado school.
But I convinced myself that I needed this new start and came back. This semester I adopted a new attitude and some new strategies of the ever so daunting task to meeting new people and if you’re a shy introvert like me, try checking out these tips and applying them to your everyday life too:
1. Don’t hide behind the safety of your phone screen or the pages of a book before class starts. Try looking up and smiling with those who make eye contact with you, chances are they’ll come sit next to you.
2. At least try joining one club, make sure it’s one you’re legitimately interested in and don’t freak out that you’re not in 5 or 10 or some ridiculous amount of organizations, just do what you’re comfortable with.
3. DO NOT STAY IN YOUR ROOM. If you have homework try hitting up Watson or Anschutz library; even if you’re not talking to people you’re still around other humans and it’s way less depressing than sitting alone in your room with your door closed.
4. Attend university events. Not only do they cater to people around our age, but also it’s a great way to meet people that are interested in things you are; such as animated or action movies (also, apply tip #1 when you’re there if alone).
5. Step outside of your comfort zone every once and awhile, I know it’s tough, but it’s VERY likely to pay off in the long run.
6. Be yourself. Follow those quirky interests that make you YOU. Don’t try meeting people by putting out a false identity.
And most importantly of all, IT’S OKAY TO BE AN INTROVERT. You’re so ridiculously awesome because you don’t need the constant interaction of other humans to make you happy. You are perfectly content with alone time and weekends staying in watching Netflix or classic Disney flicks. You will meet people you’ll share a great connection with and even if it doesn’t happen right away or in college that’s fine. The stereotypes that other people try to make you feel are normal do not apply to spectacular people such as us and we must continually prove the masses wrong.
Do not feel bad about wanting time to yourself or not wanting to conform to the “typical” college experience. If and when you feel lonely, try attending some activities you’d like (since KU has PLENTY of options) and don’t stress too much on meeting others, seeing that those you’re most likely to bond with are going to be sneaky introverts like yourself.