It takes time to nurture friendships to make sure they work. In college, we all go through big changes and it’s hard to find the right people to share your life with. It’s hard to determine whether a friendship is worth saving. It’s hard to find genuine friendships that’ll get you through college. How do you know if a friendship is worth it and when it’s time to cut it off? Here are some things that may make a friendship more trouble than they’re worth:
1. Jealousy
Jealousy can cause any friendship to break. If you’re constantly competing with a friend, it’s hard to be genuine towards one another. There is always some animosity among one another because one friend is trying to one up the other. Everything is a competition: clothes, boys, cars and school. Jealousy is healthy for any person, but is it healthy if it’s causing you to talk about them behind their back? If you’re constantly jealous of your friend, maybe it’s time to reconsider continuing on with the friendship.
2. One- sided
Are you putting more effort into the friendship? You notice they start to only talk to you when they need something, but they stop hanging out with you gradually. Most of the conversations revolve around them. They don’t keep any of your dates and cancel on you all the time. They are the ones that get caught up in life and might not know they’re ignoring you. Have a conversation with them and address your concerns. If the friend still acts the same, they probably don’t care much about the friendship.
3. The User
This friend is like an opportunist. They will only call you if it’s in regards to a party or an important event. It’s like they want to be the center of attention or need a photo-op. They’re the kind of people who post everything on Instagram or Facebook just to show how awesome their life is. They’re only in it for themselves and no one else. You’ve probably never gone to them with any issues and they don’t seem to care about your problems.
4. No More Common Interests
Friendships always start by having common interests: music, boys, fashion, sports and hobbies. Sometimes as you grow older, those interests wane and you find yourselves having the same conversations over and over again. The conversations become bland and the only questions you start asking yourself is why you guys were friends in the first place.
5. Always Putting You Down
Friends are allowed to be honest and tell you the truth. There is a difference between being honest and being cruel. This person will pick at your every flaw and always make sure that it’s known. It can be a snide mark about your weight or something about your outfit. Either way, they don’t know how to be nice. They don’t ever give you any good advice because they always think their way is the only way to do things. They are constantly undermining you to feel better about themselves. The only question you should be asking yourself is why keep them in your life? I don’t think people have time to deal with toxic people in their lives.
6. Clingy
This friend the one thing you don’t notice until something goes wrong. They are constantly by your side. No matter where you go they are never behind. They dress is like you and are their mannerisms are similar to yours. Once you start doing things with other friends they start to get jealous. The deem your friendship so important that they start picking fights with you because you’re leaving them behind.
7. Big Life Changes
Friends are there to de-stress with and have tons of fun. They’re they to make you laugh and create memories that last a lifetime. I think the test of a good friendship is when one friend goes through hardships. A true friend will be with you the second find out you’re going through something hard. They’re there to support you and hold your hand through all the stresses of life. If a person cannot find time to spend with you, they most likely gave up on the friendship or don’t deem the friendship important.
8. No Contact
We all have those friendships that stand the test of time. You don’t have to talk to them everyday or spend all your time with them. It is the type of friendship that always picks up where you left off. Every time you get together it’s like you didn’t just go 6 months without seeing/talking to each other. If your friendship doesn’t fall into this category, it’s most likely time to give it up.
Everyone goes through different situations in their lives and friends are always there to hold your hand. If a friend can be there when you laugh, but are MIA when you cry, they’re most likely not a good friend. Not every friendship is defined the same so you have to be the one to determine which friendships are worth saving.