Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo

3 Easy Ways to DTR (Define The Relationship)

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at KU chapter.

I’ve always been that girl who gets stuck in very sticky relationships that aren’t actually relationships. I mean, my first boyfriend wasn’t even a “real” boyfriend. But, here in college, it is so hard to actually figure out what your relationship is, and I’ve got a few tips to do it in a sneaky way.

Think About It

This gives you a chance to actually think and talk to the other person about why you want to label it in the first place, even before you ask the other person!  I know that for me, there can be many times that I just want to define a relationship just so I don’t have to think about it anymore. That is extremely unhealthy. If you care about the person, and you see a relationship with them, then maybe it’s time to DTR! Faulty relationships usually happen because you don’t really think— you just do. So, I recommend thinking about what your relationship means to you. Can you see a place with the person? Can you see your relationship? If not, then maybe it really isn’t a good idea to “label it.” Follow your heart and know it will lead you in the right place!

See How They Act Around You

This may seem extremely obvious, and also very sneaky, because you don’t actually have to flat out ask them. When people like other people, I’ve noticed, especially in college, they want to show it. If a person really likes you, they will make sure to show you and tell you that they want to move further. It’s sneaky and you don’t have to do much work. A win-win situation, right?  

Label It!

This is probably one of the more obvious tips that most people talk about, and it’s usually not very sneaky, but you can make it that way. When you hang out with your significant other, just ask what exactly he wants from you. It might not seem incredibly sneaky, but it does help move the relationship out just a little bit. Also, a huge thing that I’ve learned is boys don’t usually consider “dating” until the second or so date, so remember this when asking about DTR!

All right, ladies, I hope these tips help you out just a tiny bit. Always remember that the relationship is about you and the other person, not anybody else. Understand this and I’m pretty sure you will have and easy time DTRing in the future! 

Shelby is a senior here at KU. As well as being the Admin Director for Her Campus KU and a Chapter Advisor, she is involved in Student Senate and Alpha Delta Pi. Her obsession with Chipotle is never ending and she can make a mean chocolate chip cookie. Follow her on Twitter @shelsncheese and Instagram @shelbyostrom_