The system’s breaking down
I think there’s been a glitch.
– Glitch, Taylor Swift
As the clock strikes twelve, half the world enters into midnight. It is a time of rest, recovery, and preparation for the new dawn ahead. Sometimes, these traits of midnight conflict with each other. And sometimes, the only way forward, is to look back at what has passed us by. What better a time to do so, in such a sleepless [mid]night as this?
A brief interruption (or was it?), a not-so-slight malfunction.
I glanced at my laptop – there was no connection – and then my phone – yet again, no connection. A whole day of an Internet blackout, with only momentary respite, until midnight reinstated it. I sat there in my room, plunged in darkness, illuminated only by the blinding white light of my laptop screen.
They say a new world, hidden from the daylight, manifests in the late night hours – a different world. Now, it was a world with no electricity, and no network. Cut off from the rest of the campus, we could barely communicate between residence halls, or at least, I could hardly do so.
The system’s broken down.
A complete blackout. I think there’s been a glitch.
Waves of heat gradually began to penetrate the room, though I could not identify its source. The fan was dead-still, and my view of the outside world, even more so. I decided to step out of my room to explore the chaos that would inevitably be released at “Lights Out.”
Darkness. An ink-black cloak of darkness descended upon the Krea University campus, this night. A howl. A bark. A scream. A concoction of animalistic noises hitherto unfathomable to humankind suddenly resonated across the pitch-black hallways, against a backdrop of unprecedented, glorious torrential rain. The night was just about to start.
I took one step forward, surveying my surroundings, or at least attempting to do so. Phone held in hand, one finger close to its flashlight, and keys in my pocket, I stepped out. I took one look back. The only source of illumination for the room now stood upright in my hand, while my room became one with the shadows. For now, at least.
I was instantly met by the piercing sound of shrieks and unfettered, bestial howls, echoing around the otherwise still and desolate residence hall, though I could not pinpoint their sources. They were nameless, faceless shadows, who, for all intents and purposes, differed from their daytime counterparts, shadows with a camaraderie just as unfettered. Knowing that this was difficult for me to partake in, I scurried back to my room.
It was time now to relive my own teenage and adult life, or at least their highlights. So, I took a walk down memory lane, via my batch’s WhatsApp group, with all its old messages, and my notes app, with all my past (and recent) musings. While most of my friends slept in their rooms and respective residence halls (as much sleep as possible, given the circumstances!), I reflected on all the seeds for poetry that never became real, singular lines and stanzas waiting for their siblings to be penned down, tucked away like a book that you said you would get around to, but never did:
I foresaw the end to your chapter before I could even turn the page,
tying my self-worth to you, with the ease of tying my shoelace.
Universes could grow in the spaces between us,
A pair of held hands and one broken heart apart.
I quickly read my old diaries that lay at the bottom of my notes app, waiting for ripe moments such as these, to be reopened. They told the stories of a younger Dhruv, who was not so different from the current version of me, but not so similar either. I cringed at old memories, and whispered warnings to my younger self, but a little too late. Although these diaries opened a floodgate of memories that I wish I could hide with all the things that I’d rather not remember, I could not bring myself to delete them. Perhaps one day, I would see them again, and remember them fondly for what they were, rather than the mistakes I so persistently deem them. With this confidence, I looked up.
I put my phone down, then, as the silence gave way to a new wave of howls.
The clock struck one. Blinding white light. The lights were back on. The system was back online.