In the age of swipes and super likes, where emojis do the talking and love is just a click away, lies a land of peril and promise known as the dating app realm. For us college students, navigating this digital jungle can be akin to braving a stormy sea in a leaky canoe – thrilling yet treacherous, with each swipe holding the potential for either romantic rapture or comedic catastrophe.
For the uninitiated, ‘Hinge’ is the dating app that promises a more “meaningful connection” than its swiping brethren–the land of carefully curated profiles, artfully angled selfies, and bios that attempt to strike the perfect balance between witty and profound. But for us, the intrepid explorers of this digital domain, Hinge offers a treasure trove of experiences that range from the mildly amusing to the downright disastrous.
Let’s be honest, the quest for love in the digital age is rarely a sonnet penned by Shakespeare. More often than not, it resembles a poorly lit, poorly spelled haiku filled with unexpected twists and ample cringe-worthy moments to fuel a trimester’s worth of gossip. Firstly, there’s the art of profile decipherment. We become Sherlocks, meticulously combing through bios for clues about our potential paramour. Does his “passion for travel” translate to a guy who just went to Goa for one spring break? Does her mention of “adventures” hint at a love for skydiving or simply the willingness to try a new restaurant? The ambiguity, jeez, it keeps us going.
Then comes the initial exchange. Often, it starts with a compliment, hopefully not about our “beautiful smile” we’ve seen a dozen times before, or a reference to a shared interest, bonus points if it’s something more niche than “Friends’”. But soon after, the conversation takes a nosedive. He regales us with tales of his “epic” night out involving copious amounts of Kingfisher Ultra, or she waxes lyrical about her astrology chart and how our Venuses are simply not aligned. Weighed down by the burden of unrealized expectations, we politely excuse ourselves, leaving a trail of unanswered messages in our wake. And sometimes, we even graduate to the dreaded date. At this point the facade of the profile crumbles, revealing the reality beneath.
The witty bio writer turns out to be painfully shy, the travel enthusiast has never been further than his cousin’s wedding in Bangalore, and the self-proclaimed foodie only orders Butter Chicken and Fried Rice at every restaurant. We smile politely, nurse lukewarm beverages, and vow never to trust a carefully crafted Hinge profile again. These encounters leave us with a bittersweet taste – a smile at the absurdity of it all, a grimace at the shattered illusion, and a silent vow to approach every Hinge profile with a healthy dose of scepticism.
So, after swiping through enough profiles on Hinge or any other dating app to make me question humanity’s collective sanity, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’d rather watch paint dry than entertain someone whose idea of a good time is turning half-empty water bottles into makeshift gymnastic equipment. But hey, don’t let my misadventures discourage you! Who knows, maybe you’ll stumble upon someone who can hold a conversation that doesn’t revolve around the latest trend on Instagram or the best snap filters. And let’s be real, there’s no harm in dipping your toes in the dating pool, even if you end up with a few battle scars–I mean, there’s no harm in playing the field, albeit the occasional heartbreak.
-Bidisha Dam