It’s no secret that college students party. And why not? This is college! Live a little! Partying is part of the college experience!
Right?
But here’s the thing: you’re not a square if you stay in.
I feel like there’s such a stigma surrounding the idea of a party. Factors such as whether you go out, who goes with you, where you go, for how long, and who you meet seem so important in the moment, and it can feel like the fabric of social life. The way to make friends is to get drunk with loud music, then talk about it (or try to remember it) later. And while there’s nothing necessarily wrong with that, it really doesn’t appeal to everyone, and creates a culture that can be incredibly isolating.
For me and for a lot of other introverted people I know, going out on the weekend after a long, tiring, stressful week of class simply takes too much energy. A dark, sweaty room full of drunk people trampling me while loud music blares overhead is honestly not my idea of fun (and I speak from experience). While a night out every once in a while is fun, I’ve felt equally fulfilled sitting in my room working on a craft, reading a book, or watching a movie, either alone or with a few like-minded friends. Honestly, most of the time staying in feels better.
The problem with the party stigma is that it makes staying in appear sad and uninteresting, and it implies that if you stay in on a regular basis, there’s something wrong with you. But what this view fails to consider is that not everyone reacts to a given social situation the same way. What some view as exhilarating others view as exhausting. Extroverted people feed off social energy, so it makes sense that partying on weekends is their outlet for combatting school-induced stress. Introverted people, on the other hand, must expend a lot of energy in order to socialize, which makes partying on weekends sometimes too much to handle.
Are extroverts social vampires?* Were us introverts just born with an inefficient battery that needs to be recharged more often? You decide.
It’s also important to acknowledge that partying is not the only way to make friends on campus. As a first-year student, I know firsthand that finding a “group” is one of the hardest parts of adjusting to college, and it was especially hard at the beginning of first semester not to feel like I was missing something fundamental by not going to a lot of parties. But as time went on and I made friends through different groups on campus, as well as found a few hallmates who shared my sentiments and would gladly stay in and watch a movie, I felt perfectly comfortable spending my Friday and Saturday nights in sweatpants, without feeling any major loss in my social life.
Furthermore, I don’t agree with the notion that partying regularly is a necessary component of the “real college experience.” College looks different for everybody—not to mention the fact that the real reason you’re here is to learn. And, staying in does not make you boring—it just means your idea of fun is different. Trying new things is important, but there is no rule that says you have to like the same things as everyone else. Remember that you are under no obligation to anyone but yourself.
So, as you stare out your window this weekend dreading the cold and (hopefully) admiring the snow, consider just curling up with a cup of tea and a book, watching a movie, or doing a nice stress-relieving craft. And if you want some company, I can guarantee you’re not the only one of your friends or hallmates who’d enjoy a cozy night in.
*Note: This is not to imply that I think there is anything wrong with enjoying parties and social energy. If that’s your jam, then go for it.
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