On the windowsill by my bed, I have two containers full of brushes, one for liquid lipsticks, one for lipglosses, one for eyeliner and mascara, and a tray with my lipsticks. Next to that, several foundations and concealers. Powders are piled everywhere, and my eyeshadow palettes are stacked on top of one another at the other end. And, next to those, there’s a small box of blushes, highlighters and individual eyeshadows.
Yeah, it’s excessive.
From all this, you can presume that I love makeup. You would be right. My real obsession didn’t start until last year, but I’ve been watching beauty videos and looking at makeup online for a few years now. I have the Sephora app on my phone. On my Instagram feed, there are pictures of makeup looks and tutorials. I’m normally thinking about what makeup product to buy next. Because I love makeup. I love the playing with the colors, the feel of it. I love what it can do to a face, I love how it can transform you and display how you feel on your face.
Swatching up my arm with lipsticks or eyeshadows makes me happy. Trying new looks on myself makes me happy too, so on a weekly basis, I tend to try something a little different once or twice. My regular look—concealer, tinted moisturizer, neutral brown crease and soft white lid with light eyeliner and heavy mascara—is still exciting every day.
What might seem like simply an expression of vanity to some is more than that—it’s a passion. And screw it, it’s also an expression of vanity. I claim my right to be vain. I like the way I look with makeup. I also like the way I look without makeup, but makeup is an excuse to show off your face, to play with your features, make them obvious or hide them.
Makeup is getting to play artist on the canvas you’re most familiar with: your face. You play with color and texture and dimension, to add to yourself what you’d like, or just to have fun.
I’d never be one to claim makeup as a shield against the world or a mask. In all honesty, there is something very vulnerable about wearing a full face of makeup. Whatever you do, people will criticize the way you look. Makeup draws attention to you, can make people stare. You’re left open to their judgment, the: “She looks ridiculous” or “That color is not for her” or just weird looks. You put on a berry lip and you’re making a statement, and putting yourself out there.
But the hour I spent getting ready for our Her Campus formal was ridiculously fun. I wore a full face of makeup. I baked and contoured and glowed and blended. And I did it because I wanted to. Makeup is a choice. And whatever you choose, as long as it makes you happy, it’s the right choice. My choice is a smoky copper eye—at least for today. You never know—tomorrow I could go full matte with a red lip.
Image Credit: Gabrielle Ivanier