As much as I pretend to cringe at them, I really do love dating shows. No matter what strange romantic premise Netflix throws my way, I always find myself putting my other shows on pause to watch at least one episode of poorly made reality TV. The problem lies where I, a lesbian, cannot relate at all to what occurs on these dating shows. I can only rewatch Are You the One Season 8 so many times—and yes, I am in the process of rewatching it now. This 2019 season of the traditionally straight dating show was groundbreaking for the queer community, but then it was never repeated despite all of positive feedback it received. None of the other big dating shows, such as Love Island, Too Hot to Handle, or The Bachelor, have had queer seasons, whether that be sexually fluid like Are You the One, or exclusively lesbian or gay.
As I am rewatching the queer season of Are You the One, I’m reminded how much more enjoyable it is for me to watch a dating show that I can resonate with. While I do still love watching straight dating shows, there’s something different about watching people who share similar identities and expressions as you. This season is full of drama, of course, but also acceptance and conversations about sexual and gender identity. In no other dating show can I find this, even if there are cast members who are LGBTQ+. I recently finished the new season of Too Hot to Handle, and even more recently discovered that multiple of the cast members identify as LGBTQ+. However, instead of learning through the show that there were queer cast members, I learned through their social media platforms, such as Tiktok. Cast members Dominique and Brittan revealed that they both identify as bisexual, and went on to admit that the producers of Too Hot to Handle cut out many scenes where their identities were apparent. There are many other instances of contestants of dating shows coming out as queer after the show airs, such as Colton Underwood from The Bachelor. It is not necessarily that these shows completely lack queer representation—although there’s room for a lot more—it’s that the producers omit important identities of contestants in order to appeal to what they’re advertising: straight dating shows. While it’s already known that producers of these shows have to cut down what they filmed to the highlights, it is clear that there’s a pattern of queer identities being hidden on these shows.
While there are other queer dating shows, they are never promoted to the same degree as straight dating shows. As for reality TV in general, there are a handful of queer shows like RuPaul’s Drag Race and Queer Eye, but these shows are produced and advertised in a way that still appeals to straight people (considering how popular they are). The main question that comes up when considering queer dating shows is “would straight people be interested in watching them, and therefore would they make less profit?” However, if already well-established dating shows such as Too Hot to Handle followed suit of Are You the One and created a queer season, they already have the platform able to promote a queer dating show without the fear that it wouldn’t be profitable. In the coming months, Netflix plans to release a new season of their show The Ultimatum: Marry or Move on, this time titled The Ultimatum: Queer Love. While I haven’t seen much promotion for the series, hopefully this dating show is a success and leads to more queer representation from reality TV in the future.