The day my dad asked me to draw and scan a design for our Christmas card, I received a strange text from him:
“Call me tonight—you’ll need help scanning it.”
“No, I won’t,” I replied. “I learned how to use my scanner three months ago!”
It struck me then how reliant I was on my parents before coming to Kenyon. They were almost always available if I needed help with our printer, always there to check if I had a fever, there to tell me to put down that box of Lucky Charms, and almost always available to talk. Now I’m away from home, and my mom’s new (and busy!) work schedule and my dad’s job make it harder for me to contact them when I have questions. Now, I’m responsible for teaching myself how to use my printer/scanner, and I’m in charge of organizing and managing my finances.
At first, being in charge of myself, my health, and my choices without my mom or dad giving me advice was odd. They’d always been there, and now I am on my own. I finally decided that this newfound freedom was great—it is not only teaching me to be more resourceful, but also more self-sufficient. I was able to actually figure out how to do small things like work my scanner without my parents there. More importantly, I felt more confident every day because instead of going to my parents and asking them for advice every time I was nervous or not sure, I would ask myself what I should do. In short, I became more dependent on myself. I became more self-sufficient.
Now, that’s not to say that I didn’t call my mom and ask her for advice about problems that I didn’t think I could handle alone—how to give friends better advice, or knowing what foods might be better for my body when I was sick with the Krud earlier this year. But I didn’t rely as heavily on my parents as I had before, which gave me a little more confidence every day.
You got this, collegiates!
I know it’s nice to feel completely self-sufficient and be able to take care of yourself without your parents, but it’s also really, really hard to deal with bad situations or experiences without their help sometimes. When I got sick earlier this month, I was calling my mom almost every day to make sure I was all right. My more self-sufficient self from earlier in the year once again became reliant on my mom’s advice (or even hearing her voice everyday, which was a comfort). This brings me to my overall point: being self-sufficient in college is really great. For me, it meant I had more freedom and felt more capable. But it’s always, always, always okay to fall back on your parents, friends, teachers, or anyone else who gives you great support.
Yes, being self-sufficient in college is super important: it’s important to learn how to live on your own, how to deal with small issues (like scanners), and to find out solutions to problems that may be hard for you to solve. But part of being self-sufficient in college is also knowing when to ask for help or advice. It’s knowing when to balance your self-reliance with a little bit of reliance on others, too.
Authors note: Mom, if you’re reading this, I just wanted to get the chance to say you’re awesome. Also, please tell dad I DEFINITELY know how to use my scanner.
Image Credit: Share gif, Giphy