There truly is no show quite like Sex and the City. From its debut in 1998 to its questionable and subsequent movies, sequels, and spinoffs, the impact of the show has clearly been one that’s lasted for decades. Sex and the City is my comfort show. There’s nothing that matches the feeling of watching the lives of the four main protagonists and the complex, messy, beautiful, and oftentimes either incredibly progressive for the late 90s or so politically incorrect you can’t help but to say “Oh, that’s not…” lives they live. Regardless, I love this show. From Manhattan to Long Island, John Coltrane to Donna Summer, I love late 90s New York, I love the music, I love the drama. More so than anything else, I love the characters.
Let’s start with Carrie Bradshaw. Carrie is like a friend I worry about. She’s a journalist, a cosmopolitan fanatic, and an undisputed fashion icon of the late 90s and early 2000s. However, she can be dramatic, messy, and so obnoxious at times. Carrie’s entire ethos as to why she does what she does revolves around writing for her column detailing her sex life as a job. Look, I’m all for sex positivity, and I’m certain there are enough newspapers in New York City for some anonymity, but I personally think airing out all of your hookups and situationships to New York City is… brave. But obviously sex sells, since she’s able to support both paying rent in Manhattan (a brownstone on the Upper East Side, no less) and a concerning shoe shopping addiction.
The reason why I and so many others can’t help but to watch this 30-something blonde woman strut across our screens is because we’ve all been Carrie at some point. I find myself relating to her a lot more now that I live on my own, write lifestyle articles, and navigate the complexities of all kinds of relationships. Carrie can be insufferable, but I can be insufferable at times too! That is why she’s such a timeless character that so many women resonate with.
Enough about Carrie, let’s get to the real star of the show: Samantha. Samantha Jones is a woman in every sense of the word. She’s both an incredibly successful public relations executive and an absolute diva. She’s incredibly open about her sexuality and exudes confidence in all areas of her life. What I admire most about Samantha is just how incredibly present she is compared to Carrie. Samantha knows what she wants, and knows exactly how to get it. Carrie thinks she knows what she wants and gets too caught up in her own narrative to actually ever achieve it.
I relate to Carrie in that aspect, though. Oftentimes I feel like I’m not present enough in my own life because I think too much about the future and its consequences rather than what feels good in the moment. When I think about the most enjoyable moments of my college experience so far, I think of the nights that are fleeting. I look back fondly on those moments because I never know when I’m going to experience them again and have a hard time appreciating them for what they are when they are happening to me.
There’s no telling what tomorrow will look like or who will be there to look at it with you, but you can always have the present moment. Luxuriate in those moments. Think of Samantha when you feel too indulgent in enjoying your own life–she shamelessly seeks out her own pleasure and success and you should too. Think of Carrie when you leave a guy five voicemails after a night out, because she’d probably leave him six. I think of these women when I get dinner with my best friend on Saturday night to debrief the night before. I think of these women when I write these articles, when I walk down Middle Path blasting Amy Winehouse, when I do pretty much anything. Carrie and Samantha specifically are the muses of everything that I do. I aspire to be as fabulous, as interesting, and as confident as they are. More importantly, I aspire to cultivate a sense of loyalty with their girl friends that they put above any relationships with men.
Clearly, these women are present in everything that I do and aspire to be. Both are unafraid of being messy in pursuit of their own desires, bold enough to take up space, and are fiercely loyal to the women in their lives. I think those sentiments are the perfect ones to carry into life as a young woman in college. So leave those voicemails, take up space, and make a mess of it as long as you are willing to stay present enough for the ride. I am of the belief that life isn’t just about the rigid pursuit of happiness, but the raw pursuit of all the experiences. Be there for the highs, the lows, and all the feelings in between that life has to offer us right now. As I close my laptop and get ready for a Friday night out with the girls, I couldn’t help but wonder: How much of life do we miss out on by attempting to construct a narrative rather than just enjoying the ride?