In the past week or so there has been a great deal of debate online surrounding an article titled “I Am Not a Feminist, And That is Okay.” And rightfully so. The article presents a very narrow view of feminism, and issue nicely addressed in “A Feminist Response to ‘I Am Not a Feminist, And That Is Okay’,” and “You’re Not a Feminist, and Here’s Why That Isn’t Really Okay.”
For me, this discussion has hit a surprisingly personal note. When I was twelve, I passionately declared that I was not a feminist because I didn’t hate men. As I moved through high school and entered college I quickly began to realize that what I understood to be “anti-feminist” values were actually things that feminists themselves believe. Now, as a fully converted feminist, it shocks me to hear that people, particularly young women, are promoting a similarly misguided anti-feminist standpoint.
Thinking about this issue brought to mind a movement that helped me discover just how far-reaching and necessary feminism really is. A former internet phenomenon that has sadly disappeared from my and I’m sure many other’s newsfeeds, Who Needs Feminism? is a compilation of diverse voices all responding to its question with “I need feminism because…” Contributors share their own stories about touchingly honest experiences where they have been made to feel less-than for simply being who they are. Unlike what the writer of “I am Not a Feminist, and That is Okay” suggests, there are a great deal of people of all genders who still need feminism.
Perhaps one of the most positive aspects of this little corner of the internet is that the students who started the campaign withheld any “official” definition of feminism. Instead they encourage people to discover their own versions of feminism, a stance that recognizes feminism can mean different things to different people. Importantly, though, they explicitly state their intended goal, which is “to decrease negative associations with the word that would prevent anyone from identifying with the movement.”
Even if the campaign is encouraging people to determine what feminism means for themselves, that does not mean it is an opportunity to make that definition narrow or negative. Quite the contrary—it pushes people to broaden their definition by acknowledging that their experiences are highly personal while also realizing that other people have other, different personal experiences. What I love about this project is that it allows for such a variety of people to share their own stories in a way that de-stigmatizes feminism as a word and as an identifier. It emphasizes the freedom of choice that gender equality strives to achieve.
Today, as a more self-aware woman and feminist, I can look back on my experiences as a woman and recognize and reflect on exactly what it was that has made me feel uncomfortable or disrespected in certain situations. I am, of course, still learning. Just last summer I worked as a busser in restaurant. It was a rough time for me, so some days I would go into work and it would be all I could do not to cry. There was an older man who wore a red baseball cap and was a regular, so I saw him quite often since I worked full time. Inevitably he began to notice me and when he did he would often would tell me to smile. Because he was a customer, I felt obligated to do what he asked of me.
Maybe this seems like a small series of incidents, but by telling me to smile, he was prioritizing that I look pleasing to him and everyone around me. He was also denying me my right to show my emotions. Upon later reflection, this is especially troublesome for me because the function of sadness is to motivate people to confront their problems, usually by seeking out emotional support from friends or family. In these moments, I didn’t feel like it was okay for me to reach out for help because I needed to act a certain way. I needed feminism because I felt like I had to hide my sadness to fit this man’s idea of what a young woman should look like—all smiles all the time.
I guess what I worry about most when I read articles like “I am Not a Feminist, and That is Okay” is that they perpetuate ideas that feminism is somehow wrong or unnecessary. And it seems to me that if people think feminism is wrong or unnecessary, there are still young people out there that who never have the chance to learn what feminism really is. There are young people who learn that feminism is working against them. And there are young people who will come to believe that feeling unsafe and uncomfortable for being who they are is simply a fact of life.
Image Credit: Who Needs Feminism on Tumblr