Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about this quote by Kris Vallotton, one of my favorite authors, “Integrity will not allow your lips to violate your heart.” He posted it on his Instagram in late November, and I liked it so much that I saved it and even made it into a secondary Apple Watch face. My obsession with integrity began last summer. Until then, I basically just understood integrity to be a basic human decency: don’t lie, don’t cheat, don’t steal. I thought, “Check, check, check. Okay. I’m integrous.” But then I listened to a podcast on integrity, and I was captivated by what it could be if it were not just a list of “thou shalt nots,” but a call to live and love more fully.
In the podcast, international speaker Shawn Bolz told the story of when an elderly passenger died on his 20-hour flight home, and they had to return to the original airport. Understandably, the event was really upsetting, and all Bolz wanted was to go home to his wife and kids. At first, he had a bad attitude and was angry. However, he decided to put his own feelings aside and take the time to love and support the flight attendants, whose experience was more traumatic than his. In the end, Shawn said, integrity allows us to love people well, even when we’re having a bad day and don’t feel like it.Last summer, I would read and listen to everything I could find about integrity.
This idea of a higher level of integrity has become almost an obsession in my life over the last few months. I long to be someone who loves people to the point of inconvenience, even when I feel like crap, and would rather crawl into bed, watch Netflix, and eat several bowls of pistachio ice cream.
According to the Merriam Webster’s Dictionary, integrity is wholeness, soundness, and an adherence to a set of values. I long to be a person living with emotional health and wholeness, a person whose character can withstand the pressures of life. I long to let my actions be determined by the things that I value and the person that I am, rather than my circumstances and day-to-day feelings. Integrity can withstand the storms of life.
This brings me back to my new favorite quote. Integrity does not allow your lips to violate your heart because it #livesauthenticly. Integrity presents the most honest, accurate portrait of your heart, even when it’s uncomfortable. If I am integrous, I am the same person in every situation; I am fully myself no matter where I go or who I meet.
When I dream of becoming a more integrous person, I dream about being someone who is always reliable, because I value my commitments even when “better” things come up. I long to be someone who is kind to those who are not kind to me, because I will not allow others’ actions to determine my reactions. I hope to be someone whose everyday choices reflect my long-term values. I aspire to live a life that is fully worth living.
Image Credit: Maggie Griffin