Dear freshmen,
I was really tempted to type out the welcome song from She’s the Man, but I restrained myself. For those who have no idea what I’m talking about, I would find a way to watch She’s the Man as soon as possible. Here at Kenyon, we speak in acronyms, abbreviations, and movie quotes. We basically have our own language. Learn to speak it, and speak it well. The day you realize that the New Apts are not, in fact, new will be a glorious day for you. Distinguishing the Gunds is also key. If you tell a friend to meet you at Gund, there is only a 33.3 percent chance that you will both end up at the right one. Kenyon doesn’t try to be confusing; it just comes naturally. Smather and Mather are not and will not ever be the same. No one should have so much homework that they live in Smather for the duration of the school year.
Speaking of homework, it is not the most important thing in the world. Now, I’m not saying to blow if off and rage seven days a week, but don’t be that kid that everyone has forgotten about, because you stay in Olin until the nerd bell. Do you guys know what the nerd bell is? It’s that sad, sad sound you hear when the library kicks you out at 2 AM. Yes, they do that here. They kick people out of the library. Olin’s tagline is affectionately “Where dreams go to die,” but even Olin doesn’t want you to stay there forever. But, I digress. Have friends, do things, find yourself. I know that sounds cheesy, and I’m a little embarrassed that I typed it, but it’s true. You will not be the same person senior year as you are now. If you are, then you didn’t do it right. College, especially Kenyon, isn’t just about the academics. It’s about the people you meet and the experiences you have. The people here make you want to do better and be better. Let yourself be pushed and questioned. Doubt yourself. You will never have all of the answers to your homework or to life, but that doesn’t mean you should stop looking for them.
There are, however, some things that should never be questioned. If you want to graduate in four years, don’t step on the seal inside Peirce’s doors. That is not a thing we do here. Don’t complain when you have a total of 100 pages to read for your classes this week. Most seniors have 100 pages of reading per class per day. You will, too. Never question the fact that McBride is the best freshman hall to live in. First floor short side forever! Don’t question the fact that these will be the best four years of your life. You came to Kenyon seeking knowledge, but in 2018 you will leave with wisdom. You came here with goals, and you will leave with the ability to reach them. Never again will you be at a place where all of your friends are within walking distance and where you can have free ice cream everyday. We, the class of 2015, are trusting you to carry on everything that we will teach you. Don’t fail us. I have faith in you because when my eyes are closed I see you for what you really are…seriously, though, watch She’s the Man.