I’m terrible at science. I’ve always been terrible at science. I’m an English and classics major, and I fulfilled my physical science distribution requirement by taking psychology. But I’ve been in the mood to conduct some sort of scientific experiment lately. Maybe I’ve been reading too many books on literary theory or something. I don’t know.
Well, this is what I came up with. Don’t judge me if I get any terminology wrong; I haven’t used the formal scientific method since, like, sixth grade.
Question:
What mac and cheese available at the market is best?
Initial Hypothesis:
Probably none of the kinds that have that gross powder that somehow turns into cheese after stirring, but beyond that I have no idea.
Procedure:
Procure every single type of macaroni and cheese available at the market. This is limited to mac and cheese that can be cooked in a microwave, as I have little access to a stove in my dorm room. Prepare each according to specific instructions. Evaluate based on taste and easiness of preparation.
Variable Samples:
1. Kraft. This was my control group. I have been eating this stuff as long as I can remember, and it’s most likely the first thing I ever learned to cook for myself. Also, at the time of the study, it was the only variety I had ever eaten before.
2. Annie’s. Similar to Kraft, it has that strange cheese stirring powder.
3. Amy’s. At first, the similar name to Annie’s confused me.
4. Stouffer’s. Similar packaging to Amy’s; otherwise, nothing else to note.
5. Lean Cuisine. I’ve heard horror stories about this brand, but I tried not to let prior biases affect my research.
6. Evol Truffle Parmesan. I had never heard of this brand before my experiment, and, honestly, it was the one that scared me the most.
Analysis:
This study was done throughout a period of about a week and a half, giving the researcher enough time to cleanse her palate and evaluate each variety of mac and cheese effectively. Each sample was tested in order of appearance in the “variable samples” section and will be referred to by its numerical value hereafter.
1. Kraft. Honestly, I didn’t even have to sample #1, but test it I did. The plastic, synthetic taste is permanently embedded into my taste buds. Preparation was easy; so easy 10-year-old me could do it. Final evaluation: 2.5 out of 5 noodles.
2. Annie’s. I wasn’t expecting much from this one because it had the similar cheese powder to #1, but I was pleasantly surprised. It required more microwave preparation time than #1; however, its taste was significantly devoid of any plastic undertones, like real cheese. Final evaluation: 3 out of 5 noodles.
3. Amy’s. One word: delicious! I scraped up every last bit. Just soft enough, just cheesy enough. It required different preparation than #1 and #2. It had to be refrigerated before cooking and didn’t need cheese powder, as the cheese and pasta were already mixed together. Required 3-4 initial minutes in the microwave, 1 minute of stirring, and 2-3 subsequent minutes in the microwave. Though a bit annoying, I was happy that the cheese powder didn’t get anywhere with this one. Final evaluation: 5 out of 5 noodles.
4. Stouffer’s. Perhaps the fact that I ate it after #3 detracted it from it. In addition to their similar packaging, #3 and #4 required similar preparation, and had very similar taste. But I just couldn’t get beyond the sheer perfection that was #3. All in all though, a very solid effort. Final evaluation: 4.5 out of 5 noodles.
5. Lean Cuisine. It had similar preparation to #3 and #4, but that marked the end of their similarities. It tasted faintly of cardboard, and the cheese and pasta didn’t seem to mix together very well. Final evaluation: 2.5 out of 5 noodles.
6. Evol Truffle Parmesan. The outlier. Obviously, it was truffle and Parmesan mac and cheese, so it had very zesty flavors compared to the solid cheddar of the others. I wasn’t a particular fan of the taste, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that nobody else will be. Final evaluation: 3 out of 5 noodles.
Conclusion:
I was correct in my assumptions that the varieties that do not require that gross cheese powder generally taste better than the ones that do, but that just may be because I tried fewer varieties that did not use the powder. Amy’s and Stouffer’s were my knockout favorites.
I would recommend conducting a fun experiment like this if you’re bored or particularly passionate about mac and cheese like I am. You might learn something.
Image Credit: Amazon, Giant Eagle