Can male-identifying people ever be good feminists, you ask? Yes, yes, YES, they can be, a thousand times yes! Gender doesn’t automatically make you completely immune to understanding the struggles of others, which is why it’s so important to be a good male feminist. Here are some tips and tricks!
Always, always tell women that feminism is degrading and that they deserve better than feminism, obviously!
This will cause women to argue with you and form educated viewpoints and make amazing insights as to why we need feminism. You’re just, y’know, the lightning that starts the fire by encouraging them to articulate their opinions when you TOTALLY diss feminism. Think of all the incredible points they’ll have at their disposal in the future. Then think of how YOU were the one that helped them formulate those opinions by pissing them off in the first place! Wow, you are the real winner here. I’ll give you an entire dollar for your good work as a prize, as opposed to 75 cents!
Feminists love to be impressed by toxic masculinity.
It really turns them on by showing them you’re not afraid to be yourself. Beat up a few friends in the parking lot, or carry the dead carcass of a deer around campus to prove that you are a manly man, who puts up with no shit, just like feminists, who also don’t put up with any shit.
Always bring up your problems.
“I can’t believe I have to pay $10 for a box of condoms!” “I would be going to Yale if it weren’t for affirmative action!” “This one time some gross chick hit on me at a bar! It was disgusting!” These struggles will show feminists that you too have problems. Just brush off their arguments of “but I have to pay hundreds of dollars for birth control!” and “sexual assault towards women is a WAY bigger problem!” with the age old, “you’re overreacting because you’re emotional” argument. Classic.
Wear feminist merchandise to prove to the world you’re #woke.
That’s all you need to do! Even if you think that women are Satan’s spawn meant to tempt men, if you wear the right stuff, people will respect you. “Yeah,” they’ll say, “He may not accept my identity or think people like me deserve respect, but at least he’s wearing assless chaps with a Betty Friedan quote on the crotch.”
Don’t ever say the word “vagina.”
Women—especially feminists—hate this. I mean, do those weird things that babies come out of even really exist? What is a viagra? Oops, sorry, I meant vagina. Whatever. Point is, they’re weird, and it’s not your responsibility to know how it works. You’re not a dinocologist, right?
NEVER come to a conversation about feminism prepared.
It’s not your job to educate yourself and be a better person! HA! That’s for the feminists to do, which is why you should always, 100% argue your opinion even if it’s badly formed AND misinformed! Leave the educating to feminists, because, hey, you’re a MAN, and you can’t just expect to know all this shit, right?!? Right.
Be able to pronounce “intersectional feminism.”
But it’s totally ok if you don’t understand what it means. I mean, even pronouncing it shows that you probably, most likely know what you’re talking about, and you’re totally informed as to what it is, because you’re a MAN, and men KNOW THINGS.
Alright, bruhs and dudes of the world, go forth, and become the male feminist you were born to be! And if you choose not to be, I’m sure it won’t really matter or affect anything you do. You’ve had the upper hand in society for thousands of years! Haha, oops, that made me sound like an angry feminist.
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