Investing yourself in extracurriculars can take a lot of time and energy. That’s why it’s important to get your values straight when signing up for activities on campus. Instead of wasting effort on doing what you actually like, think of it in terms of doing who you like. Here are a few tips on how to kill two (love) birds with one stone. Yup, we’re telling you how to use getting involved on campus as an excuse to advance your love life.
1. Club it up.
A cute person should be your primary incentive to join a club. The Activities Fair is really about finding the most attractive face behind a dislist. Team sports are basically giant Tinder groups. These trade secrets have just been shared with you. Now, you must embark on a journey—you must get involved on campus to find the ultimate bae.
2. Get active to get busy.
The KAC is actually for showing off your cutest workout outfits and trying to mingle with all the #babes on campus. If you find a cutie lifting or ridin’ that treadmill, situate yourself right next to them at all points during their workout, batting your eyelashes and flexing your muscles tastefully. If said person doesn’t notice you after that, start doing squats the next time you see them in Peirce to remind them of that time you *~longingly~* stared at them for two hours at the KAC.
3. Become a Moodle extraordinaire.
Moodle is the new Tinder. Check when your crush last viewed a Moodle page and text them a question about the class. Make sure your whole class reads your romantic comment on a forum so that you can claim your romantic territory. Moodle will inevitable lead to canoodling. Building your relationship on Moodle allows you to woo bae with all sorts of Moodle-related jokes. When you see them at a party, ask “Is this your first time here?” Later, ask if they want to see your private files.
4. Earn Brownie Points at VI Trivia.
Aggressively wiggle your way over to bae and literally bump out your competition by elbowing anyone who tries to sit next to your future lover. Every time your team depends on you for an answer, whisper it exclusively into your crush’s ear… even if it’s completely wrong. Then shout out a different answer and nudge your sweetie while giving a wink. You may be sabotaging your teammates but you’ll also be turning bae on by seeming secretive and mysterious.
5. Give some blood, get a bae.
The blood drive is an excuse to faint into smexy people’s beautifully crafted arms. Giving away your bodily fluids to a good cause is great, but getting someone’s attention is an even greater cause- a cause for your love life to advance. Bring attention to yourself by fainting into a cutie’s arms or latching onto the leg of a potential bae.
6. Campus jobs can lead to… well, other kinds of jobs.
That hunk you work at the library with or the sexy babe who’s your co-worker at the KAC? Don’t just work your job, work your body… maybe even in places where you’re employed. Wink, wink.
7. Join a secret society, like Cheeto Club.
You may think it sounds fake, but it’s 100% real….we think. Maybe this club is a giant orgy? Maybe it’s just a place for Cheeto-oriented people to dress up as Cheetos and then get kinky. Word is that the few students who partake in Cheeto Club are mates for life, bonding over that sweet, sweet orange dye that creates the perfect snack, and the perfect way to spice up your love life.
8. Go to hall programs, allowing your CA to fulfill their role as matchmaker.
They’re all designed for you to meet new baes. Icebreakers during hall meetings are actually speed-dating. The whole point of advising a community is creating a community of love. Even the asian beetles and roaches are all strategically placed to get your adrenaline pumping and your heart a-thumping. It’s probably not a coincidence how there are more and more co-ed halls every year.
We hope that you soon find a bae in this sea of activities and that you guys can swim together, through an ocean of bliss and happiness until the end of your days—or at least until rugby practice is over.
Image credits: Giphy.com