Recently, Jessica Berger wrote an article about how she doesn’t go to Hillel services and how that’s okay. She writes about how she never found a home there and just felt like another a number, another Jewish kid. This saddened me for a couple reasons; one, that I found my experience at Hillel to be such the opposite, and two, as the Hillel manager for the past two years I have always set my main goal not to have students leaving feeling this way. For right now I want to focus on the first part, how I found my home at Hillel.
As an incoming first-year, my very-typical-Jewish-mother pressured me to go to Hillel; even before that, she was skeptical of any college that did not have one. I started going early in the year and fell in love with Shabbats pretty quickly. Shabbats were a way to get a home cooked meal, and although my family rarely celebrated Shabbat, it felt nice to perform rituals and eat comforting food that was not Peirce. But my real commitment to Hillel came around the high holidays, such as Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur.
As a first-year, I refused to believe in the idea of homesickness for the first month or so of college. I had been going to camp since I was nine; I had lived independently before, and being a counselor meant that I had helped others live independently. To me, admitting that I was homesick was admitting something that I felt I had left behind at the age of nine. However, around the high holidays I could not help but admit to myself that yes, I was homesick. I wanted to be home for the holidays, eating my mom’s Hungarian brisket and going to services with my brothers. Although I made some Jewish friends at school, I did not feel like any of them could replace my family on these holidays. I think the best way I could equate this to a non-Jewish person would be as if I spent Christmas completely alone with no family or friends that shared my usual Christmas traditions. I started to question if I even wanted to go to Hillel in the first place. Did the high holidays have meaning to me without my family? I wasn’t sure, but I decided to try Hillel for Rosh Hashana, just in case they did. What I found was a community that I was blind to before ready to welcome me in and share the holiday with me. When Yom Kippur, the holiday during which Jews typically fast for 25 hours to repent for their sins, came around that year I found myself fasting alone in my room. I was used to being able to kvetch with the rest of my family about our hunger, but this time I only had a roommate who seemed bewildered by my crankiness and my need to say every few minutes exactly how hungry and thirsty I was. Once again, as I went to Hillel for breakfast I was met with a community who shared the experience.
Throughout that year, my involvement with Hillel grew to the point where I made the decision to apply to be a manager and was lucky enough to be chosen for this position. Every program I put in place, I put in place to help students feel the home I felt when I first arrived and the home I continue to feel to today. This year I even decided to put an extra emphasis in first-year involvement in order to help first-years transition more smoothly. Although my homesickness has gone away with age, there is always a huge comfort to me when I walk into the Rothenberg Hillel house and am greeted by people who share an underlying commonality with me.
If you have any ideas or suggestions for Hillel, let me know! Also please remember although it is a place for Jewish life on campus, Hillel welcomes all non-Jews. Stop by a program and find out what Hillel is all about!
Image Credit: Kenyon College, The Kenyon Collegian