When Kenyon went remote for upperclassmen I didn’t have much of a reaction. It was pure acceptance on the spot; perhaps the grieving of everything covid-related had prepared me for this sort of news. I had experienced half a semester of remote learning, which was an interesting experience. Only one of my classes met via zoom and though it was a 3 hour seminar, we’d only spend one hour or an hour and a half in class at most. While most of the time I was fighting my own lack of motivation, I cannot say academically there was much difficulty.
But at the moment when I was told I wasn’t going back to Gambier in the fall, I saw it as a positive. It provided an opportunity to come to Pakistan for the first time in 7 years with my mom while also continuing my education. I packed my bags and hurdled myself halfway across the world and not before long I started fall of my junior year at Kenyon via Zoom university.
I cannot deny the vast amount of effort my professors have put into developing an online semester, but my friends and I soon realized that doing a rigorous Kenyon curriculum via Zoom was riddled with issues and for the most part, absolutely sucked. For my situation especially, the semester has been nothing short of difficult and soon my positive, upbeat attitude about the semester fell into an endless rage. Upon discussing with my friends, I found commonalities among our frustrations. While I understand why Kenyon decided to opt for this layout with the current state of the world, part of me can’t help but feel miserable completing assignments from my grandmother’s home in Pakistan. Here are some of my biggest challenges I’ve faced with online learning.
Lack of Fast Internet
I’ve never been one to complain about the internet on campus but I’ve definitely heard people who have, and now I think any internet that loads a page in 5 minutes is fast. Even using the fastest internet I have access to, I have yet to get through a zoom lecture or meeting without the occasional buffering or loss of connection, and I know I’m not alone. My bandwidth simply does not allow for both my camera and my browsers to be up together without issues. If you think Kenyon course material is difficult to understand in real time, try learning when you miss every other sentence because of buffering issues. I like to think of it as a remixed version of a normal lecture, for fun.
Study Spaces
I live in a house where there are nearly 16 people living under one roof. I share a room with 3 other people in my family and at any given moment 5 people are circling around me while I’m in and out of class. I don’t have the luxury of a private study space as I’m sure many other remote students do. Many of us lack desks and tables and even just some basic peace and quiet. Trust me, it makes a difference. Try attending a zoom lecture with an 8-year old screaming in the background. Spoiler alert: it is not fun.
Other Responsibilities
I have friends working jobs on the side, on top of cooking, cleaning and grocery shopping all in a week’s time. I spend a considerable amount of time helping my mom with her doctors visits and other things related to her basic needs. Just last week I attended an appointment with the CGE while babysitting my 4-month old baby cousin. It’s a tough balance, but for many of us we have to take care of ourselves and other people around us. For me, freetime between school and all that I’m doing outside of class is a rare thing. Most of us remote students are working harder than ever before but the reality is we don’t have enough time in a day to balance life among all things, and it’s overwhelming. No dining halls and single dorm rooms, but rather cooking and classes on the dining tables. We are responsible not only for ourselves but also for other people, all while being full time students.
Time Differences
This might not be applicable for all remote students, but many of us are working from different time zones. If you’re in California, your classes are a whopping 3 hours before their actual listed times. 8 am classes are 5 am classes. I, however, am on the extreme end of the spectrum with a 9 hour time difference. Classes for me range from 6 pm in the evening to 1 am late at night. If I make it through the lecture without falling asleep and submit my work before going to bed it’s a good day. I’ve had to kiss clubs and activities goodbye and coordinating facetime or skype calls with my friends is puzzling and frustrating. If I can have even 15 minutes of a call with anyone I know, I consider it a success.
My situation definitely accentuates these issues, but I know most remote students deal with a certain combination of these challenges. Long story short, remote learning is really hard. Being away from friends is also difficult. I know these are all byproducts of living through a pandemic but it does not discount the fact that times are difficult. There is nothing normal about what we’re living through.
However, students on campus have access to things remote students do not, and we are not afforded the same leniencies in grading as we had last semester. There’s no pass/failing major classes anymore. So for most of us we have to work twice as hard, and hope for good grades. This is far from an equal and equitable semester for all students and part of me wishes we’d acknowledge that more as a college. This semester has me feeling overwhelmed, alone and stressed. Assignments are for submitting and being engaged every class becomes harder as the semester progresses, and the gap in privilege between me and my fellow Kenyon peers is more and more noticeable everyday.
For me, I take it one week at a time. Every week is a new challenge but once it’s over, I’m another week closer to the finish of this semester and returning home to Gambier hill.