When you’re miles away from your family and close friends from high school, nothing says “I care about you” like a package notification from the post office. So, naturally, after my sister asked me for my address last week I couldn’t help but compulsively refresh my email in between classes. She told me not to worry, the package wasn’t heavy, but just so I knew, I would probably want a friend to help me carry it. As it turns out, I did not need a friend to help me carry my “package”, but I did make quite a few new friends on the way back to my dorm, all of whom wondered why I was carrying a potato. That’s right, no box – just a stamp-covered potato that read in slanted Sharpie, “I’ll be your french fry if you’ll be my spud muffin”. The ladies who work at the post office certainly got a kick out of that, and now so can you! Here are 7 genius things to send your friends (or better yet, your enemies) in the mail.
1. Oddly-Shaped Produce
Turns out, potatoes are not the only grown foods you can mail after a trip to the grocery store. Take this as an educational opportunity to familiarize yourself with the obscure fruits and vegetables in your area. That way, you’ll have an excuse when your mother questions you about the pineapple in her mailbox.
If you’re feeling particularly passive aggressive, mail an envelope of glitter to the person who has most recently annoyed you. These sparkly little flakes may look harmless, but they can cause an immense amount of irritation, especially when the envelope opens and they fly everywhere. The person who did you wrong will be reminded never to bother you again with each speck of glitter the poor soul must endure for weeks to follow.
3. Boxes inside of Boxes
Big things come in small packages. So, what comes in big packages? How about more boxes! The recipient gets to open multiple packages while you get a thrill with each obnoxious piece of tape. Who ever told you to think outside the box clearly never received a package like this.
4. Inflated Balloons
You don’t need a party in order to blow up a few balloons. Fill a container with inflated balloons and enjoy as your friend panics when the contents of the package escape immediately after the box is opened. Plus, the shipping will be cheap because air weighs practically nothing!
Tired of your friend’s complaints about how he/ she hasn’t worked out in way too long? Do your pal a favor and ship some bricks their way. You can laugh as your friend lugs the heavy package to their room and still get the satisfaction of knowing you saved a lucky soul from a sweaty gym session.
We all have that friend of whom we’re envious… the one who constantly sends snapchats lounging by their campus pool. That is the friend who deserves to receive a box full of snow. Log onto “shipsnowyo.com” and send snow (yes, real snow) anywhere in the United States. Worse comes to worst, your friend receives a soggy box of water. I’m sure he/ she won’t mind considering all the time spent by the pool.
Yes, this is actually a thing. There is a concerningly vast amount of websites on the internet that allow you to mail other people poop, including “poopsenders.com”, “shitexpress.com”. Not only will these sites keep your identity anonymous, but they will also allow you to select which animal will produce this special gift. Talk about personal business.
Whether you want to pull a prank on your friend, or need the perfect way to get revenge on your ex, these are only a few of the items that can surprisingly travel through the mail. Test the boundaries of the postal service and get creative with your packages. You’ll keep the postal workers on their toes and your enemies in fear!
Image sources: Sarah Sklar, Telegraph.co.uk, Blogspot.com, Stampingmadly.com, Createcrafts.com, Notable.ca, Amazon.com, Pageresource.com