Following the steady climb in popularity of the relatively new CBS sitcom, 2 Broke Girls, I was struck with how easily I could compare the silly sitcom to my own financial situation. During my senior year of high school, I was lucky enough to snag a great job as a hostess at a French cafe. I would be lying if I said it paid poorly. While this past summer was defined by frivolous spending on all sorts of (much-needed) luxuries, like trips to the salon or meeting a friend for lunch (hey, I’d earned it!), college has so far been defined by a dwindling bank account and the lack of a steady job.
I’ve quickly had to abandon my disillusioned idea that money is an expendable resource (because apparently college loans don’t pay themselves). Let me enlighten you with some of my own personal tips and tricks on surviving college as a real-life Broke Girl:
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Checking my online bank account after every Friday night trip to Chipotle. Seriously, the best way not to overspend is to make yourself look at what you’ve got.
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Compromising on the number of pieces of bacon on avocado grilled cheese sandwich at the VI. The extra 2 dollars required to upgrade to four pieces is no joking matter.
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A moment of truth: Seeing your K-card balance after doing laundry. My heart has never beaten faster.
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Ice or no ice in my coffee at Wiggins? Ice costs an extra buck!
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Being a Goodwill whore; realizing I feel personally offended if there is a Goodwill trip in my absence. (Why didn’t you think to call me?!”)
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Sending innocent text messages to mom about “money stresses,” getting a completely unapologetic response (“Get a cheap lunch! LOL”). (ed note: or, as my parents say, go to Peirce…exclusively)
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Harassing the manager at the Kenyon Inn: “I’M STILL LOOKING FOR A JOB JUST IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING…” So far, for whatever reason this approach has come off as aggressive.
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Buying snacks in bulk (Gotta stock up for the winter!). But actually though, I don’t think anyone needs a 1.5 pound bag of pistachios from Walmart.
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Settling for a coffee-stained psychology textbook from Amazon (I really do hope that’s coffee).
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Treating myself to a “free” manicure at the Easton Sephora; aka quickly painting both hands with a nail polish sample before the sales people notice.
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Crying inside when seeing Living Social’s daily deals offered in DC…Living Social Gambier, where you at?
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Buying the two-in-one Herbal Essences shampoo and conditioner to be more cost-effective. My hair is now very dry and tangled.
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Netflix Instant Play is the only reason that owning a laptop in college is a good investment.
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Feeling a strong desire to buy Tupperware containers as a means to bring Pierce granola back to the dorm.