As the Hailey Bieber and Selena Gomez drama finally wraps itself up and the tabloids move onto something else, I’m struck with the thought of why we love mean girls. The movie “Mean Girls” showcased a different side to women: catty, aggressive and almost cut-throat actions that the girls displayed in the movie captivated audiences. We ate up the narrative of girls being mean and ran with it. There are countless websites dedicated to naming the meanest women in Hollywood but fail to mention the mean men in Hollywood. There is virtually no coverage of men being mean in Hollywood.
This isn’t meant to be a call-out of sorts about men in Hollywood that are difficult or have horrible reputations, but rather a close-up look at why society loves labeling the new mean girl. The mean girl phenomenon began in the late 90s and early 2000s with books targeting the ‘mean girl’ in the workplace and how to deal with her. Books like “Queen Bees and Wannabes,” “Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls” and “Working with Bitches” all frame women as the problem, and with the film ‘Mean Girls,’ it catapulted all women under a tiny microscope, terrified of being called the next mean girl.
I’ve had my fair share of run-ins with rude girls, but it was never part of their personality like society wants you to believe. Heck, I’m probably a mean girl to someone somewhere based on how I interacted with them. The issue is: everyone can be a mean girl. We as a society believe a mean girl must always be cruel with backhanded compliments and their side-eye and not have something actually going on at home to make them project their feelings.
But why are men not scared of being labeled a ‘mean guy?’ Simply put: there is no label for men that centers around them being mean. When a man is mean to girls at a young age it’s because he likes them. How flattered am I to be the butt of a joke by the guy who somehow degrades me and wants my affection? Men have the ability to control their own narrative; they can be the athletic guy, the nice guy, the smart guy, but never the mean guy. Label a girl ‘the mean girl’ and suddenly everyone hates her, like Rihanna. After Rihanna’s domestic abuse against rapper Chris Brown, Rihanna was slammed in newspapers and tabloids for ‘verbally assaulting’ and hitting back at Chris Brown who had punched her. And how could we forget the hate cycle that came towards Taylor Swift after Kanye stole the microphone during her award for Best Video by a Female Artist? It starts to feel like less of a coincidence for all the hate the women receive and rather a crafted narrative of the ‘ horrible women in Hollywood.’ No matter what the women do to combat the label, they will always be a mean girl.
I could include Alec Baldwin’s horrible voicemail to his 11-year-old daughter, calling her a ‘thoughtless little pig’ or Brad Pitt who physically abused his three kids and ex-wife with witnesses and still has a career. But, nothing happens to these men. Maybe it’s the misogyny, maybe it’s a whole problem with society. But, if someone labels you a mean girl embrace it, babe.
They probably don’t even know you or your character, so who are they to tell you what you are?