Many people believe that a woman is supposed to be a certain way. They’re supposed to wear certain things, eat certain things, and do certain things. Many of these expectations vary but the one thing that always seems to be constant is that women are supposed to be emotional and fragile. While I will 100% admit that I am a very emotional person, I refuse to call myself fragile in any way, shape or form.
I was born into a household where strength and individuality was praised and respect and responsibility was expected. My family gave me everything they possibly could, but not if I didn’t deserve it or work for it. My mom, the spitting image of a powerful woman, has been a constant role model for me throughout my entire life. I have never meet a more caring, compassionate person in my 18 years of life. I strive to be a quarter of the woman she is one day. But with that goal, comes all of my other desires and expectations.
For a long time, I concealed who I truly was and wanted to be for the sole reason that I was afraid. What if I failed? What if people didn’t like me? Who cares? I like me, and I’m proud of me. I’m proud of the girl I have evolved into thus far, and I’m not going to hide to make others feel more comfortable. I’m not weak, I’m not fragile, and I’m not what you expect an 18-year-old girl to be. But, let me make this clear, I am not cold because I am strong. I’m intelligent, I’m proud, I’m determined, I’m loving, and I refuse to have a life less than I deserve. I will choose kindness and respect every day, and I will choose happiness for myself and all those around me for the rest of my life. I will have what I want, and I will do whatever it takes to get there.
It is not anyone else’s job to like me but mine, and I need no one else’s approval except for my own. I’ll conform to my own expectations. I will wear whatever I want, whether it be a little black dress with 6 inch heels, or an oversized sweatshirt with my Uggs. If I want to eat a whole pizza with some mac and cheese on the side, I will, and I won’t care who watches me do it. Most importantly, I will do whatever I want to do; no one gets to make those decisions except for me.
At the end of the day I sit back and ask myself if I’m 100% satisfied with the person I am, and every night I can confidently say “not yet.” I’m not even close to where I’m going, but you better believe that I’ll get there. I have a fire burning inside of me that cannot be tamed or put out. The reality of it all is this: I won’t say sorry for being too much, too passionate, or too proud. I am who I am. I will not apologize.