One of my favorite running jokes on the television series “Friends” was the phrase “we were on a break!” After Ross cheated on Rachel, it was hard to really sympathize with him much. The idea of “taking a break” is, for many, unrealistic. Whether it be in a relationship, a friendship, work or school, for most people taking a step back seems unfathomable.
Over the last several years, I have faced a ton of health issues that have thrown a wrench in my work and school life. As a busy college student who is in multiple student organizations, it isn’t really an option for me to take a step back for myself. This should not be the case.
Many people argue that breaks tear us apart from whatever it is we’re taking a moment for ourselves on. In the case of Ross and Rachel, the latter proposed a break from their romantic relationship after a huge fight. The same night, Ross goes to a bar and ends up sleeping with another woman. The next day, Rachel attempts to get back together with him. Ross desperately tries to cover up his one-night stand to no avail, and the pair break up officially. “We were on a break” became a running gag for the remainder of the ten-season series and is still a heavily recognized quote to this day.
When I watched this episode in my youth, I took Rachel’s side immediately. Ross had cheated in my eyes. If they had officially been broken up, it would be different, right? Now, I see things a little bit differently. I still think that Ross was in the wrong, but I don’t think it is fair to hold only him accountable for the downfall of their relationship. That’s not me saying Rachel did something wrong by asking for a break—it’s the opposite.
Rachel had every right to ask for some space. Her mental health and emotional well-being were negatively affected by the strenuous nature of their relationship. Additionally, Ross had every right to be upset with this request. The important thing here is acknowledging where each character was right, and where each character was wrong.
Trying to consider taking a break from school or work affects people differently. For me, it seemed like an impossible ask. During the beginning of this semester, I knew I was mentally not in a good place to return to campus. I was stressed beyond belief, and hardly able to work. The thought of taking a semester has crossed my mind countless times over the past two years, but I never seriously considered it until this past month. And that thought was scary.
The thought of taking a break is considered a negative one—it is so deeply ingrained within us that we are always supposed to be moving toward something. When someone says they’re taking a semester off, people “ooh” and “aah” and nod their heads slowly in contempt, because everyone knows that no one takes a semester off and goes back to school in a timely manner, right? The society we live in looks at taking a break as an admittance of defeat.
So instead of taking a break that I know I deserved, I pushed through. I stretched myself thin until the point of no return and I balanced my tasks with as much grace as I could muster up. I’m still clinging desperately to the bits of normalcy in my life, and school is one of those things. But the more I think about it, the more I realize just how unhealthy this behavior can be. Because sometimes, taking a break is the right thing—the only thing you can do.
On “Friends,” when Rachel knew it was time to take a step back from her relationship, she did so without shame. She stood by her decision and wasn’t ashamed to say that she needed space. I find that an admirable quality in a person. Taking a break does not make you weak—it makes you brave. I know that, but I still find myself debating this fact with myself.
The more that I think about it, the more I start to believe that taking a break can be the right thing sometimes. Once I started to accept this, I started to understand that it really is okay. I am doing better now and managing the semester day by day. But I’ve fully accepted that, should I need it, a break is always available. I am proud of this fact and grateful to live in a world where we are starting to prioritize our mental health. It is not a bad thing to admit we need help, and it never will be.