Have you ever wondered why people go on fewer dates now more than ever? What about spending quality time with your significant other? Romance has been in decline for over a decade in the United States, and the trend is only worsening.
A study conducted by the Statista Research Department in 2019 examined the importance of romance in relationships in the US. Only 40% of the respondents said they value romance in a relationship to the point where it is essential. I am sure that these numbers have gotten lower within the past six or so years, and there may be nothing we can do to fix it.
Romance does not have to be a fancy candlelit dinner at an expensive restaurant that breaks your wallet by spending your entire paycheck. It does not even need to be a vacation to the Maldives for your anniversary. Romance can be a picnic in your favorite park, watching a new movie together or complimenting your partner on something that does not revolve around a sexual topic. Getting a coffee with your partner, studying together to be productive and trying out new things – and they do not have to cost anything!
For me, romance is something that ties two souls together, more than sex ever could. Now, this is just an opinion, so take this with a grain of salt, but without romance, I feel that a relationship does not have much going for it. In nearly every relationship I have had, I have felt used for my body, for sex. Even though I may have never given someone the privilege of taking that part of me away, it always felt like that was the end goal in every relationship.
I know that there is someone out there for everyone, and I can only hope that my person will want me for me, not for my body. I want the kind, romantic gestures like opening my doors for me, carrying things for me when I have too much on my shoulders, gifting me flowers, always offering an ear to listen, but most of all, I want someone to love me.
I know I am not alone in this want of something beautiful. I want something from a novel I have read by Jane Austen. Romance is a beautiful thing, and it will always be that for me, for others, too. What comes with loving a person is seeing them for who they are, and that is the most important aspect in a relationship: really seeing and valuing your person.
Now, I am not invalidating sex. I think it can be a beautiful thing, and it is a beautiful thing, but for me, it is nothing without that romantic connection, without love. I cherish love so deeply, and the only thing I want in this life is to find a meaningful connection with a person, and I feel that I am beginning to.
The feeling where you find someone who absolutely values you and loves you for you, not your body, is probably one of the best feelings in the world. I have felt this way once, and I can only wish to feel it again.
Trauma could be a factor as to why sex is not as important for me in a relationship, but I am trying to override my trauma with positive experiences. The last thing I want is never being able to experience something incredible due to being stuck in my head. With time and patience, I believe that I can heal and replace the negative experiences with positive ones.
Sooner rather than later, I hope people realize how important the romantic factor in a relationship is, not only for themselves, but for their partner.