Why does November get minimal love? In case you didn’t know, the calendar goes October, NOVEMBER, December, etc. It doesn’t skip from Halloween to Christmas, there are a whole 30 days before we even hit December. I realize I may be in the minority here, but unless you have little turkey ornaments on your tree it’s not time for it yet. Let me just explain five reasons why I will never skip over November.
1. Thanksgiving, obviously
Thanksgiving is just as cute as Christmas. Thanksgiving is just as smart as Christmas. People totally like Thanksgiving just as much as they like Christmas. Like Gretchen Wieners, I too have cracked. Thanksgiving, a.k.a. the day where it’s acceptable to shove copious amounts of food into our mouths and wear sweatpants ALL DAY, is literally the day you sit around with your family and GIVE THANKS for living. What should you be thankful for? November.
2. Mashed potatoes
November is the official month celebrating mashed potatoes. Wait, that’s not a proven fact? Well, it is for me.
3. No shave November
How can you skip over a month when it’s acceptable to not shave? Do you not like men with beards? Do you not like fur? Does that mean you don’t like puppies either? I’ll just leave this here, don’t mind me.
4. It’s still fall
When you skip right to Christmas, you skip over fall. Why are you rushing straight into winter? Winter means there’s snow, ice and cold. Just look at those leaves! Let me have my leaves. Have fun in your parka and mittens, November-skippers.
5. SALES. SALES EVERYWHERE.
Being that I’m a retail veteran, I know a sale when I see one. Even though Black Friday has always been my nightmare, it’s one of the biggest sales of the year. You have Gray Thursday (ew), Black Friday, Small Business Saturday and Cyber Monday to shop your heart out. This is the weekend where it’s okay to shop non-stop without judgment from your family and friends, being that you’re probably buying gifts for them (as well as for yourself because I mean…come on). Where would you be without November and all of its sales? A place where you pay full price, that’s where.
November still exists! Enjoy your pre-Christmas shenanigans; I’ll just be over here eating all the turkey and mashed potatoes you guys forgot about it. MORE FOR ME.