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With Valentine’s Day taking place during one of the coldest months of the year, it’s easy to feel lonely and maybe a little jealous of everyone who’s paired up. While winter, Valentine’s day, and now the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic can be reminders of how single some of us are, it’s important to remember that you are your own soulmate and you really don’t need anyone else to make you feel whole.

It may sound like I’m a cynic who doesn’t believe in love, but in reality, I think love is one of the most important things in life. A good relationship can be so rewarding and can help you grow in ways you never thought you would. However, one important reminder is that you are the person that you’re going to spend your whole life with. You’re the person who has gotten you through every tough situation in your life. You know better than anyone else how to take care of yourself. You know what you like and what you hate, and you know what you want out of life. Simply, you do a lot for yourself, and you need to take time to appreciate yourself and your own company. It’s easier said than done, but once you truly start to appreciate yourself and time with yourself, it will become extremely rewarding. 


love yourself written on a sidewalk
Photo by Michelle Bonkosky from Unsplash

 

Personally, I feel lucky because I love to be alone. I love living alone, I love eating alone, I love working and doing schoolwork alone. At the end of every night there is nothing I love more than laying down in bed, alone. But even I have felt the effects of COVID isolation and have felt lonely at times. This year has not been easy for people, and even though I love being alone, that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy being social. Not having a social life has been so hard during COVID, and it has really made me become more dependent on myself than I ever thought I would be. 

For others, being alone and spending large amounts of time alone can be really difficult, and that is totally understandable. However, every young woman should learn to spend time with and on herself. Women particularly face a lot of scrutiny for being alone, there’s this weird societal standard of women being alone or even being single past a certain age that has made some women feel uncomfortable being alone in public. In my opinion, every woman should spend money and time on herself, instead of waiting for someone else to do it. If you feel awkward doing stuff alone you should start with small things like shopping or going to lunch. When I was a teenager I would always go shopping with my friends, as I got older I realized how much I loved shopping by myself. It cuts the time in half and you don’t have to go to any stores you don’t want to. Having a meal by yourself is also a great small step. Go out, get a drink (if you’re of age), get an appetizer and just enjoy your own company. Another great place to take yourself out to is museums. There’s nothing I miss more from pre-COVID life than wandering around museums by myself. The good news is, it’s so easy to just blend in and you’re definitely not the only person who’s alone there. 


Love yourself written on wall
Photo by Nicole De Khors from Burst/Shopify

Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be the only time that you spend with yourself, either. Relationships are great and being in love is awesome, but you should romanticize your single life just as much as you romanticize a relationship. It’s important to do things all year around by yourself because the truth is, there are always going to be things you want to do that no one else will, and if you get used to doing things on your own now,  you won’t ever have to miss out on something. While COVID is currently keeping a lot of people in the house, it’s challenging to get out and do things, but staying home alone can also be fun.

I always try to remind myself of when I was younger and my parents would leave me home by myself and how excited I was to be in control of whatever I wanted. Listening to music alone means turning it up as loud as you want and replaying your favorite songs without judgment. Think of all the times you were in a cramped bar listening to an awful song while people drunkenly yelled around you. Not at home, honey. When you’re alone you can watch whatever you want, cook whatever you want and wear whatever grimy pair of sweats you want. There are little joys in being alone that every girl needs to experience. 

Having a partner is great, and doing things for someone you love can be so fulfilling. Although, it’s not selfish to love yourself and your own company- it’s one of the most important and biggest forms of self-love that you can achieve!

 

Grace Christopher

Kent State '22

Grace Christopher is a Graduate student in Journalism and Mass Communication at Kent State University. She graduated from Youngstown State University in May with her Bachelor's in History and Political Science.
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