As you go through life, it’s nice to have that one friend that has stuck with you from day one. Unfortunately for some, this isn’t realistic. Whether you’ve moved a ton in your life, or you just can’t seem to make that connection, it’s hard to listen to your new friends talk about the people they’ve known forever when you just can’t relate.
For me, it was moving. I have yet to live in one place for longer than 5 years, and because of this, I am one of the few who doesn’t have a forever best friend. I don’t get the chance to talk about it a lot simply because it never comes up in conversation, but it’s affected my life more than I like to admit.
I was born in New Orleans, Louisiana and have had short stays in Texas, Kansas, Indiana and Ohio. I lived in Louisiana for the first nine years of my life but did a lot of moving within the state during those years. By the time I began moving states, I had already begun to condition myself to expect it.
What I mean by this is exactly how it sounds. When you move so often you begin to expect it. You start a new school with the expectation that these will be your peers for a couple of years and then you will move on to the next. Even with ample opportunities to get to know people, I just didn’t see it as worth it when I was just going to leave.
Whenever I do talk about it with people, they seem to think it’s something I want them to feel bad for me over. The way I went through life wasn’t sad, it was just reality. When you bounce from place to place you end up not wanting those connections.
When I entered high school as a completely new student, I thought maybe I could find that true best friend. After all, everyone moves when they go off to college and lots of people keep their friends. Through my four years, I found a couple of people I clicked with, but the overall result was the same. After we walked across the stage and graduated, I probably wouldn’t talk to or see these people again, and I was right.
I not sure if there’s a word for it, but I’m extremely difficult to get to know. Most people wouldn’t agree with that statement but let me explain what I mean. I can talk to anyone. I’m definitely what can be considered an extroverted person. A good conversation is about all you’re going to get out of me though. Since I’ve gone through my whole life expecting to pick up and move soon, I’m really not interested in getting to know people.
The way I look at it, people are easier to leave when you don’t know them. They’re easier to leave when they’re just an acquaintance to get you through your lunchtime at school, or when they’re just someone you smile at sometimes in passing in the hallway. I had no interest in getting to know people well enough to affect me when I ultimately moved away. I worked for years to protect myself from being upset about starting over. I’m sure it can be seen as rude when I don’t reach out to people or aren’t interested in hanging out with them all the time. Honestly, I’m not really sure how to do anything differently.
The truth is though, it did affect me. As I approach my college graduation, I’m starting to realize that I’ve continued to do the same. Sure, I have people that I’m close to and can text if I need something, but did I really open up and let these people know me to the best of my ability? The short answer is no. It’s hard to make myself understand that after this it’s up to me whether I leave or not.
At the end of the day, I know more people than I ever could’ve imagined, and I couldn’t be more thankful for that. Regardless of all the cool places, I’ve lived and things I’ve seen, it will be nice to finally settle down somewhere and relearn how to create those lasting relationships with the people I come across.