If there’s anything that’s a part of being human, it’s embarrassment. The worry of embarrassment, the worry of saying the wrong thing, the worry of being too much and the worry of putting ourselves out there. But we should really never be embarrassed of being embarrassed.
Recently, Ethan Hawke went viral on the Oscars red carpet for giving some of the most “life-changing” advice on unrequited love. Hawke has made the world feel better about the times they’ve embarrassed themselves for the sake of love, through this one quote.
“The one who’s in love always wins,” Hawke said. “It doesn’t matter if you get your heart broken; you’re living, and when you’re feeling, you’re alive.”
I’ve watched this clip countless times while scrolling through social media, and it genuinely has become some of the most comforting advice I’ve ever heard. As someone with 24/7 anxiety, it has had me thinking of all the times I’ve overthought a human interaction, been scared to talk to someone or said the “wrong thing.” But as I’ve reflected on those times I was brave and talked to someone, and then later dissected every word I said, and how I said it, I’ve realized that it was just me seeking a connection with another human being.Â
I mean, imagine a life where we lived every day feeling one emotion over and over again. No embarrassing times to later laugh about, no feeling of sadness when we lose a loved one, no bursts of happiness when we run into a friend; in order to live a fulfilled life, we need to feel every uncomfortable emotion.
Because it is okay for us to embarrass ourselves a little in pursuit of human connection. It’s what has to be done in order for us to gain friendships and relationships.Â
We’ve all faced rejection and have had to sit in that incredibly uncomfortable feeling of disbelief, repeating the question to ourselves of “why did I put myself out there?” Whether it’s when you finally told that one person you liked them more than friends, or the time you were told no for a job interview.
The feeling of rejection occurs across all parts of our lives. Hawke continued to add in the interview that rejection shouldn’t prevent us from continuing our everyday lives.
“You know, the sun doesn’t care whether the grass appreciates its rays, right? It just keeps on shining. That’s you.” Hawke continued to add in the interview.
Just like the sun’s rays, we have to continue smiling. Think about it, you put yourself out there, they said no, you were brave, you’re the winner. Oftentimes, when we are told no, we usually begin to degrade ourselves and see ourselves as the losers.
Though someone may not love you back, they were still an important part of your life, someone who made you a new person and someone who taught you a lesson. Yes, they may not have loved you back, but you got to feel the joyous feeling of love.
So take Ethan Hawke’s advice, go embarrass yourself and tell everyone how you feel!