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How to Own Awkward Sex Moments

Shower fail or shower fall?

Sometimes the steamy hotness gets the best of you, and you lose your balance. Don’t let this stop you! Sure, you’re on the ground while he’s staring downward at you awkwardly, but use this to your advantage. Strike a pose and make him come down to you. You’re getting clean anyways, and you’ll most likely fall again if you get back up. Save yourself the trouble.   

The red sea did not part.

Turns out your period came unexpectedly. If it starts before the fun, grab a towel and lay it underneath you two. If it starts after the fun and there’s a crime scene on the sheets, try to distract him from the bloody mess. Maybe lure him to another room while you clean it up the scene.

Speaking of a bloody mess…

What do you do when he gets a nose bleed in the middle of your good time? Honestly, it depends on how you take it. You shouldn’t touch blood since diseases spread that way, but if you’re willing to take those chances then don’t let the situation freak you out. Stay turned on so that he stays turned on. A solution could include casually making your way to the bathroom to finish off in the shower. Just don’t fall (HAH!).

“What’s your name?”

You accidentally said the wrong name during… Easy solution: tell him you’re role playing and give him a name to call you. He’s either going to be weirded out or be into it. You won’t know unless you try, but regardless, you fixed the problem.

You decided to try that new Mexican restaurant before going over.

After a great time, you killed the mood by ripping out a big one. Honestly, the best solution would be to laugh it out. If he is not accepting the fact that you fart just like every other human being then he’s not worth your time. But a little bit of advice: don’t have Mexican food beforehand.

That wasn’t a fart…

We all know queefs happen and they are awkward AF. You can be a trooper and laugh it out like the fart situation, or you can distract him by acting really turned on. If you’re having a good time, he’ll have a good time too. He won’t notice a single toot.

He’s like a kid going through puberty and can’t work a bra.

He’s struggling to get that bra off, and it’s starting to be a turn off. Help the poor guy out and take it off for him. He’s embarrassed enough, and it shows that you’re turned on and want to get started pronto.

Wrong hole, dude.

Well this was unexpected… but is it ever really an “accident”? Nevertheless, either slip out and fix the issue or try something new for a change. 

“Honey, I’m home.”

The dorm life means roommates exist. It’s the most awkward situation when they walk in, but if you want to keep going then move the party somewhere else. Ask him to join you in the bathroom or shower because that’s the one place privacy exists. Again, just don’t fall…

“Did you hear a monkey?”

Don’t you dare laugh if he makes an awkward sex noise. People are weird, and you need to accept whatever sounds come out of their mouths. Act like you didn’t even notice – that’s the best advice I can give you.

He can’t aim to save his life.

It’s in your hair… He’s turned on, but you’re pissed off. Don’t be angry; he can’t control everything. Act like nothing is wrong, walk to the bathroom and wash it out. Don’t ruin the good time by ripping his head off. Show him you’re cool about it and not angered.

‘No Shave November’ is coming up.

Your lower half is in hibernation mode. If you don’t want him to get grossed out then don’t let him go down on you that night. You never know though, that could be his type of thing.

Shelbie studies journalism at Kent State University, while also concentrating in fashion media and writing. She’s a true coffee addict and enthusiast. You can easily find her at a local coffee shop or the campus library. Her career goals include working within the publishing industry, becoming a travel writer and voicing the voiceless in her work. She’s excited to work with Her Campus and see what’s in store for the Kent State chapter.
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