It doesn’t seem real. Nothing ended poorly, there was no huge fight, no one cheated: nothing. Things just feel different, but not a good different. Time took its course in the direction that I never saw coming. One day the sparks and the butterflies were there and the next they were gone. I go to check my phone for a message that I know isn’t coming, but there’s still a hint of hope that his name will come across my screen. There is still a hint of hope that at least our friendship can remain with time. I tried so hard to fight: fight against the change, fight for my relationship and to find a reason why, but it is just not there. I think one of the worst parts of a breakup is that sometimes you never truly get an answer, it just ends.
A mutual breakup is different for everyone because every relationship is different in its own way. That is why it worked for you two in the beginning, but sometimes, eventually, it just doesn’t anymore. No matter how things end for a couple it is difficult, but when the decision is mutual and there’s no grand finale of the fireworks show, the lights just fizzled out unexpectedly and, like any ending, it is hard to start again. But this is not the end.
“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end,” Semisonic.
So here’s how you get through your mutual breakup.
1. Cry, cry, and then cry some more
For however long, this other person was the most important thing in your life. Not only were they a boyfriend, they were also a best friend and someone who was always there for you. Losing both of these at once makes a breakup even harder. So watch a stupid movie and eat a ton of junk food. It is okay to cry and be upset because odds are, in a mutual breakup, your ex is probably feeling the same way.
2. Surround yourself with people who will love and support you no matter what.
Finding these people is important in all aspects of life, but their true colors and support levels will really shine through when you need them most.
3. Don’t lose sight of your dreams
Just because your future may not include this other person anymore does not mean you should stop focusing on achieving something great. Odds are they want you to live up to your full potential even though they may not be there every step of the way.
4. Keep yourself busy!
It is so hard going from talking to someone constantly for months on end to then nothing at all. Keep yourself occupied and don’t put your whole life on hold to sulk. Don’t be afraid to be upset and cry out all your tears, but then kick yourself into gear and keep moving and doing just as you did before.
5. And most importantly, remember that everything happens for a reason.
As I am writing this after my first breakup I have no clue what the future may hold. I don’t know how long the feelings will linger and I don’t know how long it will be until things are back to a type of “normal.” I don’t know if there is some magic potion that will make all of these feelings go away and I don’t know if this is truly the end. All I do know is that things will eventually be okay and that this happened for a reason, whatever that reason may be.