Finding joy in doing things alone

It’s time to stop missing out on life because you’re scared of doing things alone.

When I look back on my life, I sometimes find myself getting caught up over the many opportunities I’ve deprived myself of simply because of the self-conscious feeling that accompanies being alone. I wish I had learned sooner in life that it is completely normal and healthy to do some things alone. 

I feel like it takes a certain level of self-confidence and enjoying your own company to be able to fully enjoy solo experiences. If you have enough security within yourself, even a solo trip to the grocery store can be fun. 

Don’t get me wrong, it can be fun to have friends or family around to joke around with and talk to as you try new things. But if there’s a new coffee shop opening up in town, and no one else wants to go, it is important to know that it can still be fun to go alone. 

A few months ago I realized how much I was holding myself back by always waiting for other people to do things with. Two of the major things I had to overcome were feeling self-conscious about being alone and feeling bored while being alone. 

Being self-conscious

I was always too self-conscious to try and go see a movie or concert by myself. The fear of other people perceiving me alone and thinking I look “stupid” or that I have no friends always held me back. It’s a lot easier said than done to ignore that nagging feeling.

It might feel like every group of friends who are laughing together is actually laughing at you. But at the end of the day, no one is truly noticing you. I have never been walking with my friends and thought, “Wow, that person looks so ridiculous over there eating by themselves,” in fact, I’ve never even noticed. 

Oftentimes people are too concerned about themselves to even notice anyone around them, let alone notice that that person might be alone. At the end of the day, we are our own harshest critics. 

Fear of boredom

When you go out with friends, you always have someone to talk to or joke around with. You can get caught up in conversation about the movie you just watched together, or the concert you are about to see.

But, when you are by yourself there’s no one to have these conversations with. You’re forced to be your own company, keeping all your thoughts inside. This can make a solo outing feel boring or overall unamusing.

If you want to add some fun to your solo-outing it can be fun to put in some airpods and listen to music or a podcast. I’ve also found it fun to bring along my journal and write down some of my thoughts or feelings about what I am doing. 

Lessons learned

Ultimately, learning to do things alone has allowed me to experience so many things I wouldn’t have otherwise. I have found that I am much more confident in myself, which has made me more extroverted when it comes to talking to new people.

It can be more relaxing to do things alone. You can leave to go home whenever you want and you don’t have to worry about making anyone late if you are running behind. 

When you look back on your life, I think you’ll find that you are happy you went out to that concert, explored that new coffee shop or saw that new movie, even if you were by yourself!

• #solo date
• happiness
• Kent State
• Olivia Montgomery