Being “that girl” is wholly unattainable.
“That girl” is a standard of female perfection and self-optimization all wrapped up in a perfectly white balanced snapshot. She wakes up at 5 a.m. and heads off to spin class while sipping green juice. She wears Alo yoga sets that show off her model-like physique and undoubtedly she has never touched a carb. “That girl” is expensive yet down to earth, she is productive but never pushy; she is happy and always pleasant, and photo-ready all the while. At night she journals about how she can improve—how even in her picture-perfect life she is not enough.
That girl is fictional, and frankly you should never strive for a version of yourself that has so many unrealistic standards. Social media loves to feed us the idea that you must always optimize yourself while still looking flawlessly, effortlessly, stunningly beautiful. And so they have conditioned us to have an internal gaze, one that is voyeuristic in nature. So we’re constantly critiquing our own actions to ensure they are both productive and desirable to the eye. These platforms sell you the story that you are not enough so that you buy into the endless cycle of self-deprecation and empty purchases in an attempt to recreate the unachievable.
The promotion of self-improvement and internal development never should have been wrapped up in a post-worthy aesthetic. Recognizing strengths and weaknesses and beginning the journey of personal growth is not always a beautiful thing. The real journey may have aspects of becoming “that girl,” such as self-care, healthy eating, journaling, working out, etc. However, there is an uglier side of that growth as well. One must not hold beauty above true self-development. The bottom line is that you are not a manufactured entity made for maximum optimization at all times while staying polished and sparkly. A person can break down, feel pain and not always be productive. And still they are worthy versions of themselves.