1. I’m not watching it. NO. STOP IT.
2. Okay, maybe for, like, one minute.
3. OMG.
4. LOOK AT HER BODY.
5. How does she look like that?
6. I wonder if I could find her trainer’s number.
7. You know whose number I can find? The pizza guy.
8. I bet she cuts out carbs.
9. Maybe I should do that?
10. LOL WHAT’S A LIFE WITHOUT CARBS? NICE TRY.
11. Where’s the pizza?
12. Ugh, those wings.
13. Ugh, those abs.
14. Ugh.
15. OMG Adriana Lima.
16. SHUT UP GUYS THE WEEKND IS SINGING.
17. I’m melting.
18. His voice is like butter.
19. Mmm. Butter.
20. Let me just take another sliver of pizza.
21. And by sliver, I mean the whole pizza.
22. Where’s my wine?
23. That fantasy bra though.
24. Imagine all the places I could wear that.
25. I wish a boy would buy that for me.
26. JK I CAN’T EVEN GET A TEXT BACK LET ALONE A $2 MILLION BRA.
27. At least I can afford this bottle of wine.
28. Lol what am I talking about I can barely afford this.
29. Wow I wish I looked like Kendall Jenner.
30. Actually, I wish I WAS Kendall Jenner.
31. What kind of deal did the Kardashians make with the devil for this life/gene pool?
32. Dammit, Kris.
33. Okay, all of these models had to make a deal with SOMEONE.
34. Could I please have this witch doctor’s number?
35. Well, it’s over.
36. Let me just buy everything from the website now.
37. Yep, this is it.
38. Oh no, my mouse is moving by itself towards the checkout button.
39. I hate myself.
40. Until next year, Victoria’s Secret.