Parting Ways with 2019

It's 2020, and we are off to a great start! Unfortunately,  I was dumped out of a 5-year relationship (officially) 2 months ago. My rebound that I'm no longer interested in is currently enrolled in at least 3 of the same classes as me. My awkward one-night stand guy, rebound guy, and I are all in the SAME class together, and the new guy I am interested in gets deployed in April. Why am I spilling my intimate secrets to you? Because all of these men that I mentioned and my relationships with them have taught me vastly different things, not only about relationships but about myself. The only way to make 2020 great is to recognize mistakes and habits! Here are just some of the lessons I've learned that I've kept in mind at all times, 2020 will be my year! 

First and foremost, men aren't s**t. LOL, I was kidding. In all seriousness, the first thing I've learned is that it's OKAY to be alone. After my long relationship, I wanted someone to care about me. I was craving not only brownies and tacos but what I lacked out of the relationship, which was someone to be there for me unconditionally.  I gained a hefty 20 pounds and went into a dark state of depression. I even went so far as to question my womanhood! One might think, "Why would she question herself if the guy was in the wrong" and my response to that is A ) you are right, and B ) you HAVE to question yourself for a moment to confirm your good.  I realized as a woman, a good woman at that, that I should not be subjected to sitting and sulking. I had to tell myself it was okay to cry, but do not let it affect you. My grades were horrible, but the smoke sessions were the bomb! The hardest thing to come to terms with is that I was sabotaging myself. I let another person affect me to the point where it affected my school and career, and quite frankly, that's not acceptable.  For 2020 my resolution is to let go of hurt because if I didn't, it would all go to my thighs (well that and the brownies)!

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What I learned from the relationships that came after my longterm is that the dating scene sucks! My breakup was with three men; the rebound, the one night stand, and the potential/nonpotential candidate. The rebound guy is as sweet as ever but not a match. The one night stand, oh gosh is he hot, but I learned that if a man is interested, you'll know. Lastly, the potential candidate is everything my ex-partner isn't, and I love it, but he leaves in 4 months for an undisclosed amount of time. The biggest lesson that I will carry into 2020 with me?? SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY! In a semi-failed attempt to pick up the pieces of my heart, I tried to please others to get them to stay. Putting up with the late-night booty calls, unreturned text and unwanted emotions was not the move. I took a big leap and told them all a piece of my mind before 2019 ended. I said to them I'm putting me first, so no more rebounding, and no more compromising /settling. In 2020, I am not wasting my time. If you're not worth it, it isn't working. Why? Because I realize I have to focus on me and my goals. Cut out all the men and get back to my school and career grind. A passionate companion will come your way when your ready and on your terms.

With that being said, it's definitely been hard not call up one of them when I'd like a booty rub at 3 a.m. but it's about what's healthiest for me. 2020 is the start of a new decade and with that, I'm leaving 2019 and its shenanigans behind, PEACE! 

Photo by Patrick Fore on Unsplash