Self-love is an interesting concept. Most people out there don’t even know they’re missing it. I sure didn’t. It’s a key component to one’s happiness and growth in life. But how can a person learn and develop an internal need when they don’t even know it’s missing? Well, the thing is, deep down, they do know it’s missing.
Before I dive more into step 2 on how to start your journey to self-love, I want to say I’m so happy you’re taking the time to read this in order to flourish and reach your greatest potential. If you haven’t done so already, I recommend reading step 1 of this series that is linked below. In step 1, I dive into how to self-detox (social media) yourself in order to move forward in your self-love journey. Once you’ve done this, it allows you to be rid of all distractions so you can move on to step 2 seamlessly.
Now, let’s backtrack a bit, shall we?
Everyone’s life is full of ebbs and flows. I’m sure everyone can relate to the feeling of being at our highest moment when all of a sudden you’re faced with the hard truths of life. Pain is present, suffering is inevitable, but healing is ALWAYS attainable. However, to heal, you have to know what’s going on in the first place. Most people’s tribulations seem easily identifiable; therefore, people tend to move on with life and “heal.” Ever heard of the phrase “time heals.” Well, I’m here to tell you that this phrase is BUPKIS. The phrase really should be “time heals if you do the work as time goes on.” If you don’t actively take steps to solve your issues, I’m afraid to tell you that time is only moving, and the healing is at a halt. All you do is learn to cope and ignore the real issue within. This, in turn, diminishes your self-love and ability to thrive. So what is step 2, you ask?
So first thing is first, what is the issue?! Most people don’t even realize that their problems aren’t the actual problem. What does that mean? With any obstacle in life, there is almost always a deeper root hidden and hard to figure out. So unknowingly, people move on without knowing what’s really going on underneath their external issues. But I cannot stress enough that it is ESSENTIAL that you do. That is where step 2 comes in: Self-Discovery. I’ve simplified three steps you can take to discover YOUR unique root. This way, you can be on your way to a full recovery and reach the bar of self-love.
- TALK TALK TALK IT OUT
Take it from someone who can’t hide their feelings if their life depended on it. LET IT OUT. I’m sure you’ve heard from someone that it’s not good to “stuff” your emotions. However, I know a lot of us naturally do this. Personally, I have a hard time keeping my emotions in because I want it out deep down, so the suffering will stop. Some of us have a more challenging time doing this based on trauma or not being understood in the past. I can guarantee you that it’ll help to talk out your issues with someone you TRUST in the long run. Doing this will create an outlet for you and help you process what is going on. Just talking out loud, I’ve noticed, has helped me tremendously to process a situation or even my emotions. It makes it easier to find the root and what’s really going on.
Now some issues might stem from trauma and/or childhood. Depending on the severity and if you feel that you need it, it might be good to find a therapist to sort it out.
… AND NO! THERAPY IS NOT TABOO!
Everyone is dealing with something, and some things are hard to figure out by yourself. To process it properly, it’s not a bad idea to consider involving a third party who isn’t emotionally involved in the situation. A licensed professional can better figure out what’s really going on based on their professional training and having an outside perspective. There is no shame in it. Don’t let people tell you otherwise. It is, however, essential to get the right one. So make sure you do your research, so you don’t make your situation worse.
When I say faith, I don’t just mean it from a religious standpoint. In tough situations, it’s hard to have hope that everything will be okay and that things and life will get better. It’s important to keep a good mindset while you’re actively figuring out what’s going on and trying to heal from it.
However, I believe that part of why my self-discovery journey was so successful was because of my faith as a Christian. Sometimes we as humans go through things in life that are so complex that we can’t figure out what’s going on and how to come out of it ourselves. Through God, I had my eyes opened to new ways of thinking and a sense of peace that is unexplainable. Somehow I knew and understood who I was deep down and what steps to take to heal, even though at one point I didn’t even recognize myself in a mirror. My soul was restored in a way I didn’t think was possible. If you are religious and/or are interested in it, I encourage you to pray and ask God to help you discover who you are and what’s going on despite the pain you hold in the present.
- EDUCATE YOURSELF AND UNDERSTAND HUMAN NATURE
Last but certainly not least, EDUCATE and UNDERSTAND. Some issues we have are very complicated and need a more profound understanding. Through talking it out and having faith, it is also crucial to educate yourself on your specific issue. For example, if you are suffering from a mental illness. It helps if you know the ins and outs of your condition to fully be aware of what’s going on inside. After you educate, understand that you are HUMAN just like EVERYONE else. It’s okay not to be okay. I can guarantee you are not alone in your situation, and there is someone out there dealing with the same thing or something similar. Try not to be too hard on yourself when you discover the issue. Be kind to yourself ;) and know that we are all going through something.
I hope my simplified version of self-discovery gives you the clarity and understanding you need going forward. It’s important to remember that healing is not linear. As you discover the root of your issues, you’ll still have days where you feel like you are going backward. It’s okay though, we can’t be at our best all the time. It’s a process. Remember that.
Come back next month to find out the final step to take on your self-love journey this year. Have a great day and happy discovering!