The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
self-love /self-ˈləv/ adjective
an appreciation of one’s own worth or virtue.
I’m sure we’ve all heard the term “self-love” from time to time. In our generation of women, we strive to reach that level of contentment regarding who we are and what we look like. But do we really understand the importance of it?
My whole life, I always thought I had self-love. Despite making some mistakes and having some insecurities, I never thought I was a terrible person or hated myself. What a crude thought I’d think! I went through life thinking that I was okay. That there was no need to actively water a seed in me because it was blooming on its own in my mind.
Boy, was I wrong.
I can recall everything I’ve been through in my life, and I recently boiled it down to one thing. I realized that everything that I was experiencing was the side effect of not having, you guessed it, self-love. So, in reality, that seed in me was actually withering.
But how? Well, it comes with being a human in this world. We live in a society filled with uncertainty, pain, and standards. We’re bound to be affected somehow, even if you aren’t aware of it like I was.
Now your story might be different. Maybe you’re more aware than I was, and you might already know that you internally don’t like yourself. Or perhaps it’s external, and you’ve never been content with how you look. Or just maybe, it’s both. Either way, I’m writing this today to tell you one thing.
It comes with being human. But I have a secret for you, feeling this way about yourself, whether you’re aware of it or not, it’s reversible. I want to share some tips on how I grew my self-love and let you know that you can too. Each month I will share 1 out of 3 steps for you to take. By doing so, you’ll build your self-love, and it’ll be easier to fight against the world’s negativity—the first step: Self-Detox.
If you’re anything like me, I can guarantee you that I understand the addiction we call: Social Media. I love snapping that perfect picture just to get showered with compliments: However, the side effects aren’t so enjoyable as I’m sure you can relate. Does constantly checking to see how many likes you have sound familiar? How about the constant comparisons to others that fit societal views? Or maybe looking at another’s post, wishing you could be as happy as they look? Well, I have good news. You don’t have to feel that way anymore. Of course, deleting your social media would be ideal to avoid these negative thoughts and feelings. But if you’re going to keep it, I am here to share with you a more positive twist you can put on it.
- HIDE LIKES ON BOTH SIDES
There is no point in having your likes on when you post. It not only ensures others are not judging you, but more importantly, it helps YOU not judge YOURSELF. Hiding your likes on your feed makes posting what you want more fun. It changes the motive from “everyone will love this picture” to “I feel great in this, and I want to show others I do too.” While you’re at it, hide other pages like counts as well. That way, it’s easier not to fall into the comparison game. You can appreciate others’ posts for the picture itself, and not the number that comes along with it.
- UNFOLLOW THEM! (you know who they are)
I’m sure you’ve been told, or maybe you already did, to cut out people in your life that don’t push you to be your best self. The people in your life who’ve told you this are correct; However, they might not have warned you that this also goes for social media followers. I know what it’s like to follow that ex, someone I don’t particularly like, and celebrities that look like what society defines as beautiful. As humans, we have a natural urge for curiosity. But I’m here to tell you that sometimes, it’s better not knowing. If you’re following anyone who gives you the slightest negative feeling, do yourself a favor, and unfollow. Knowing their whereabouts and what they look like will only stir up negative emotions, not positive ones. Plus, it makes your social media experience more pleasant and less toxic.
- FOLLOW INSPIRATIONAL PAGES
Live your life intentionally and make sure you’re surrounded by positivity. Social Media can be toxic on its own, and following pages that advocate for your beliefs and share inspiring words can make it more optimistic. You can leave the app feeling happy and ready to take on the world instead of upset feeling worthless.
You’d be surprised by the difference you’ll feel when self-detoxing your social media. It isn’t the cure, but it’s the first step in living a more positive life. I’m so happy to continue to share what I’ve discovered when learning to love yourself in today’s society.
Come back next month to find out step 2 of your journey to self-love.